Don't Walk Away
by SkyFaunteleroy
Summary: It's a new year at Degrassi for Emma and for some reason her eye seems to be turning to a certain bad boy who pulled her into his world not too long ago. Jemma.
1. Last First Day

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the characters. **

**A/N: This was written for DeBoWriMo on Degrassi-Boards Forum.**

It was a warm autumn morning. One of those mornings when you know something is going to happen. It's impossible to know exactly what. Today was the first day of my senior year. My best friend was busy in the closet throwing clothes everywhere desperately trying to find something to wear. To my surprise she came out in a pair of jeans and one of my T shirts. She threw on a jacket knowing it would be cold in the building. Her hair was in braids and she wasn't wearing any makeup. That's when I knew this year was going to be different then all the rest.

"Like I said Darcy's the last person to call me a slut" she joked and walked out of the room.

I shook my head at the thought of what this year would bring and headed to the closet to find my own outfit.

Once I was upstairs Manny suggested we get to school early for the first day. We both grabbed an apple and headed for school.

Over the summer Peter and I had decided it would be better to be just friends. This was a mutual decision and we were both totally fine with it. We met up with him on our way to school. At school everything was exactly the same. This sort of killed my thought of a brand new year. Then that civic that haunted my dreams pulled into the parking lot right in front of us. The boy I had hoped to never see again walked out of the car and did something I'd never expect.

"Hi Emma"

Manny looked at him as he walked towards the school then her gaze shot to me. That reassured me of the promise of a new year.

Manny and I had lockers right next to each other across from Mr. Simpson's room. TJ and Liberty were next to Manny and Toby was next to me.

"So senior year" Liberty sighed "oh my god we have so much to do! We have to get ready for college. We have to get perfect grades! No school wants kids who get bad grades."

"Liberty chill it's just the first day" Manny laughed.

Suddenly someone else was opening a locker next to Toby. The five of us looked over to see Sean Cameron.

"Oh my god" I breathed.

"Hey Emma" he nodded in my direction.

"Hey Sean when did you get back" I asked calmly.

"Yesterday"

"Well welcome back" I said as the bell rang and we filed into Simpson's class.

At lunch we all sat together. I could hardly remember a time when we were all together and not one of was fighting with another. So far this had been a pretty normal day. It was kind of unfortunate. I had been expecting everything to be so much different but really things were exactly the same. Well almost.

"So Emma how was your summer" Toby asked.

"Oh fine I guess" I answered distractedly.

"Hey Emma are you ok" Manny asked.

"Oh yeah I'm fine just thinking I guess" I looked around the cafeteria.

"Who are you looking for" JT asked.

"No one" my head snapped back to the table causing my neck to crack "how was your summer Toby?"

"Great" he gave me a weird look.

Ever since I saw him in the parking lot I can't stop thinking about. It's weird that I'm thinking about him when. My ex-boyfriend has suddenly appeared. Sean sat next to me at our table looking at something that was moving on his plate.

"Is Jell-O supposed to jiggle that much" he asked.

"Uh I think those are peas" TJ said looking at the green goop only Sean was stupid enough or maybe brave enough to pick up.

After lunch we all had a different class which was a very weird occurrence. Unfortunately I had a class with Jay Hogart. By the time I got there only one seat was left. Way in the back of the room right next to him. I walked to the seat and sat down sighing.

"Hello class" a new teacher said "on your desk is a number all even numbers turn to your right all odd numbers turn to your left. Good you've just met your partner for our first assignment."

Jay smirked as I hit my head against the wall repeatedly.

"Now this is supposed to be fun and easy just a little first day back at school get to know you thing" the young brunette teacher smiled brightly as she started handing out papers.

"Now each of you will have to fill one of these out for your partner by asking questions."

"Great" I rolled my eyes.

"Name" Jay asked.

"You know my name" I snapped.

"Come on I don't want to do this anymore than you do let's just get it over with."

"Fine, Emma Nelson."

There was a brief silence.

"Shouldn't you ask for my name now?"

"I know your name."

"Now Emma shouldn't you follow instructions."

"Name?"

"Jay Hogart" he answered in the same dull monotone voice I did "age."

"17" I rolled my eyes "age."

"18" he laughed "when was the last time you breathed?"

"That's not on the sheet."

"Fine what is your goal in life?"

"As of right now get out of this class alive."

"I'm writing that down."

"Go ahead this is an elective class I didn't even want to be in I don't care" I admitted "what's your goal in life?"

"Same as yours. When do you want to get married and/or have kids."

"Never. You?"

"Same. What is your favorite subject?"

"Lit. You?"

"Same."

"I don't believe you."

"Believe it. It's the only class I don't think is completely useless. Least favorite."

"Human behavioral studies."

"You seriously want me to put that down?"

"Like I said I don't care."

"Ok."

"So what about you?"

"Same as you."

We went through a bunch of boring school questions. Then towards the end they got interesting. Looking at the sheet there were so many things that were the same on both.

"Would you consider yourself closed off?"

"I don't know you decide" I told him.

"That's a big yes" he smirked.

"Oh what and you're so open."

"I didn't say that."

"Fine I'm putting the same for you."

"Guess we're a lot more alike than you thought."

"Yea right?"

"Come on same favorite band. Same favorite movie."

"It's all trivial stuff it doesn't really matter."

"Oh really?"

"Yea you and I are nothing alike."

"Yea you're right."

"I am?"

"Yea I mean you and I have nothing in common you're way to you to be like me."

"What you're saying is I'm like a goodie goodie."

"No but anyone who says goodie goodie is like six."

"Oh shut up now I remember why I hate you

"When exactly did you forget?"

"When you said your favorite movie was Casablanca" I laughed.

The bell rang and we turned in our sheets. As we were walking out the new teacher whose name I can't remember told us those seats were our new permanent seats.


	2. You Showed Me You Cared

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the characters. **

The only reason why they have assigned seats in a spill over elective is because they couldn't find a teacher. So now I'm stuck with Jay in a class with no permanent teacher until December. The rest of my classes are ok though.

After school it was raining which was unusual. Manny and I walked home in the pouring rain. She jumped every time she heard thunder. It was entertaining to watch her try and save her hair so she'd look good for Craig. An orange Civic pulled up near the sidewalk. The window rolled down and the boy with sunglasses and a backwards baseball cap who had been on my mind for most of the day appeared.

"Get in."

Manny hopped in the back quickly. Jay patted the seat next to him and I walked around the car to get in. I shivered as we drove with the air conditioner blowing cold air on me. He grabbed his jacket from the back and handed it to me.

"Hey I was cold too" Manny whined. I laughed as Jay mimicked her. As we pulled into the driveway Craig walked by. He was going to Jr. College so he'd still have time to work on being a rock star. Manny jumped out of the still moving car and ran to him.

"I'm going to the Dot to meet Cameron do you want to come" Jay asked.

"Uh yea just uh let me tell my mom" I opened the door and walked into the use to tell Snake where I was going. When I got back into the car Dirty Little Secrets was playing on the radio. I started humming and Jay laughed at me causing me to stop abruptly. The rest of the short drive was silent.

The Dot was pretty empty. Only Sean sat at a table by the window. I wasn't sure whether the invitation was to actually sit with them or just drive over with them so I went over to the counter and got a soda.

"Hey Emma you know that he's capable of coming to the table and bringing you a soda right" Jay said. I took soda and sat at the table next to Sean.

"So Sean where are you staying" I asked.

"I'm not sure yet."

"Hey you're always welcome at my place" Jay offered.

"Well then I guess I'm staying at Jay's."

A car passing by caught Sean and Jay's attention. They both followed the car with their eyes. I rolled my eyes as their heads snapped back to the table at the same time. Spinner walked over to the table.

"Hey Emma do you know when Darcy gets back from camp I thought she was supposed to get back today" he sounded worried.

"Sorry Spinner I'm not really friends with her anymore you know the whole Manny's a slut fight thing" I smiled "but I'm sure everything's ok."

Spinner left without taking their orders.

"Guess I had the right idea" I joked.

They both got up and got a soda.

"Do you have that bogus spill over class" Sean asked.

"Yea it's going to be a long semester" I sighed.

"Come on it's not that bad" Jay surprised us all "ok it is."

The three of us laughed. This was so weird. I'm having fun with my ex-boyfriend and Jay.

"How long are you going to be here" Spinner asked.

"Call Darcy we won't tell" I told him.

"Actually I better get going I have to try and patch things up with Ellie" Sean left quickly.

"Do you have anyone you need to patch things up with" Jay asked.

"Well now that you mention..."

"Emma."

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Call me Emma."

"It's your name."

"Well I know that but until today I was pretty sure you didn't."

"Ok."

"I mean you used to call me Greenpeace."

"Do you want me to call you Greenpeace."

"Yes I mean no I mean what ever."

"Well Emma Greenpeace why don't I take you home it's still raining."

"Oh uh ok thanks."

Once we were in the car I noticed that I was still wearing Jay's jacket. I kept it on because I was still cold. That's what I told myself at least. Instead of silence in the car we talked the whole way. It was so easy to talk to him. It's like I've known him forever. When we got to my house he put his hand on my knee to get me to stop rambling about whatever I had been rambling about. My stomach like flipped as his hand touched my knee.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow" I said opening the door.

"Yea you guys want a ride I hear it's supposed to rain."

"Oh yeah thanks I wonder what's up with the freaky weather."

"Hopefully it won't last long."

"Ya oh here's your jacket" I started to take it off.

"It's still raining you don't want to get wet give it back to me tomorrow ok."

"Then you'll get wet."

"I won't melt."

"Oh and I will."

"Who knows."

"Nice" I smiled and walked into the house. I leaned against the door and sighed. Manny looked at me then untangled herself from Craig's arms.

"Why are you leaning sighing and still wearing his jacket?"

"It's been a long day I needed to lean and sigh."

"And the jacket."

"It was still raining he didn't want me to melt" I walked downstairs. I sat down on the bed and looked at the ceiling waiting for the front door to close and Manny to rush in. Jay and I seemed to have made a silent agreement to try and be friends and that was it. I got myself to believe now I'd have to get Manny to believe it. The front door finally closed and Manny raced down the stair and slid on the bed next to me.

"DETAILS" she squealed.

"Nothing happened we just hung out Sean was there too."

"Was he with you when he dropped you off."

"No he left a couple minutes before us he had to try and patch things up with Ellie."

"So you stayed after he left."

"Only for a couple minutes."

"You like him again."

"I do not like him again for two reasons. One I never liked him in the first place so it can't be again. Two we're barely even friends."

"You did like him I know you did and people who are barely even friends do not give each other their jackets."

I got up and went into the bathroom. I looked out the window. Craig was standing outside talking to Ellie. She was about to walk the other way when he grabbed her arm and kissed her. I ran out of the bathroom and crawled out the window. Manny followed me t see what was going on.

"Oh my god" she ran towards her cheating boyfriend.

Ellie and Craig sprang apart and he walked closer to Manny trying to explain.

"Manny it was just a kiss we're just friends."

"I don't kiss my friends like that" she yelled.

"Look Manny I know this looks bad but you have to know I'd never cheat on you."

"Why you cheated with me."

"That was a long time ago."

"Not really" Manny shook her head "you know what go ahead be with Ellie I hope you're happy."

"Manny don't be like that."

"Bye Craig" she walked away.

I followed her after shaking my head at Craig.

She sat in the bathroom and cried. I sat next to her and put my arm around her shoulders handing her tissue after tissue. This went on for most of the night. The next morning my mom let her stay home. I got to drive to school with Jay all by myself. I threw on a jean skirt and a black lucky brand jeans shirt. I ran upstairs after getting a new box of tissues for Manny. Jay's car pulled up and I ran outside with his jacket on. It wasn't storming just drizzling a little.

"Where's Santos?"

"She's sick?"

"What's she got?"

"Broken heart."

"What happened?"

"Since when do you care so much about Manny?"

"I don't it's just obviously upsetting you."

"That's not why I'm upset."

"Why are you upset?'

"We're going to be late."


	3. Worried About You And Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the characters. **

I wasn't upset I was worried. I was worried about the feeling I got whenever I see him. I was worried about the way I thought about him constantly. I was worried about the fact that at any time I can wake up and realize he's still the same jerk he was before. I absentmindedly explained Manny's absence to Toby at my locker. JT and Liberty were already in class. We decided we were going to have a cheer up party for her tonight. In class JT and Liberty agreed to come also. These days the two of them were like one person again. They kind of have a Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn thing going on they're denying the fact that they're together but every one knows they are. During class I IM Manny to keep her from becoming dehydrated from crying so much. She seems to have come to terms with it and is back to being obsessed with Jay and me. The more I insist I don't like him like that the more I think I do. I realize I'm still wearing his jacket. Actually I don't realize it until JT asks about it.

"He lent it to me last night I forgot to give it back" I explained.

"Sure Emma" he nodded.

I really have to stop denying I like him. I'm not fooling my friends and I'm starting not to believe it. At lunch I invited him to our table. He said he would then sat with Sean on the other side of the cafeteria. I was disappointed but I didn't let it get to me. Lunch was over too soon. I was dreading the next class.

Jay was already there when I got there. He was reading the New Yorker. On the board the sub had wrote free period. I wondered why he would spend a free period reading the New Yorker.

"Is this what the new and improved Jay does in his spare time" I asked sarcastically.

"I was just sitting here so she gave me the magazine."

"I was wondering why your eyes weren't moving" I laughed.

"You're not mad about me not sitting with you?"

"No you want to sit with your friends it's cool."

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Cheer up party for Manny."

"Oh"

"Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Why don't you come. I mean if you're not doing anything."

"I'll think about it."

"And how will I know if you're coming?"

"I'll show up."

"Ok" I nodded and smiled "starts right after school."

After school I got a ride with JT and everyone. They set up while I coaxed Manny out of the room. When I got upstairs Jay was popping popcorn. Manny immediately snapped out of it and started with the interrogation.

"Did you invite him?"

"Yes."

"Are you together."

"No."

"Do you like him?"

"I don't know."

"Why did you stop cooperating?"

"I didn't"

"Do you like Jay yes or no."

"Yes"

She squealed.

"Does he know."

"No."

"Can I tell him?"

"No"

"Will you be mad if I do it anyways?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"What he says."

We started watching Fun With Dick and Jane. Halfway through the movie and my third bottle of Diet Coke I had to go to the bathroom so I left the group. They paused to movie so I could hear everything they were saying.

"Truth or dare" Manny said.

"Truth" Jay replied.

"Do you like Emma."

"Pass."

"Can't"

"Fine yea don't tell her."

"Why she likes you she told me."

"Really."

"Yea think about that."

I came out and pretended I didn't hear anything but shot Manny a look that clearly said I did. Jay was pretty quiet for the rest of the night. I silently cursed Manny for ruining it. He decided to leave before the second movie so I walked him out. The sun was setting. He lightly pushed me against the wall and kissed me.

"Night Emma Greenpeace" he walked away. I watched the car back out of the driveway and drive away. I screamed and went inside. Manny rushed over to me.

"Tell me everything" she dragged me downstairs.

Once we were downstairs and sitting in the corner on the floor like five year olds hiding from a parent coming to pick them up after a play date the questions started.

"So what happened?"

"He kissed me?"

"Tongue."

"No"

"That's ok it was only the first kiss well this year. What else?"

"That's it."

"He just walked away after kissing you right in front of the door."

"Actually next to the door he pushed me up against a wall."

"Ooh you were against a wall."

"Yea"

"So what did he say after the kiss."

"Night Emma Greenpeace."

"Hmm mixing name with hated nickname..."

"I don't hate it."

"Suddenly liking a nickname you used to hate very good sign I think this will go places."

"It's going nowhere it was one kiss nothing else will happen."

"Why won't you allow your self to like him. He's obviously changed I hated the guy but he seems decent now and that's a lot from me."

"I know it's just weird I've never felt like this Manny. I think about him all the time he's never out of my head he's like a virus..." I trailed off remembering last year.

"Em that was awhile ago."

"I know."

"So go on what were you saying."

"He's like a virus that won't go away he seems to have taken residence in my head. He might as well file for homestead exemption."

"You're in love."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are deny it all you want you are."

"Look I admit that I like him a little but love is a strong word."

We went back upstairs to finish the cheer up party that was pretty unnecessary. After everyone left I went to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night and snuck out the window needing a walk. I walked to the ravine where I had lost myself for awhile last year. Jay was sitting on a picnic bench alone. No one came anymore. I walked over to him and sat next to him. We sat there in a comfortable silence for awhile. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was laying in my bed listening to the alarm beep. I had forgotten to turn it off. Manny was groaning and throwing things. I turned it off and she rolled over and went back to sleep. I got up and dressed no sense in trying to sleep I know I won't be able to. There's a not on the fridge saying that mom and Snake were at the store. I left a note for Manny next to it. I walked out as an orange civic drove by the house. I chased it. He finally pulled over and I walked to the window.

"Hey did you bring me home last night I don't remember walking."

"Yea you fell asleep."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

"Where you headed so early" I asked.

"I'm going to Toronto for the weekend I've got tickets to an All-American Rejects concert."

"Who are you going with?"

"I was going with my cousin but he decided to get engaged and can't go so I'll probably just sell the other ticket."

"How much" I asked eagerly.

"What?"

"For the ticket how much."

"You want it?"

I nodded.

"You can have it."

"For how much."

"Free."

"No I have to give you something."

"You can give me a soda there."

"Really?"

"Yea here" he handed me the ticket "oh my god Panic is opening why would they open for All-American Rejects they're totally popular to have their own tour."

"Yea I thought that was weird too."

"I know you just gave me the ticket and that's totally cool of you but could you..."

"Give you a ride?"

I nodded.

"Sure get in."


	4. The Hogart Bunch

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the characters. **

**A/N: I know Jay is kind of ooc ok very ooc but it's fanfiction right.**

We rode in silence for about twenty minutes before Jay turned on the radio. I habitually started singing. He laughed and I instantly stopped thinking he thought I was terrible.

"Sorry I just haven't heard someone sing to Britney Spears since like '99" he joked, hopefully.

"Hey she teaches us all how to kill kids" I giggled.

"Oh yes because that's what we want to do kill the next generation."

"We already are."

"Only you can turn a light joking conversation about former pop icons' bizarre parenting into an informative conversation about global warming" he smirked.

I got lost in his gorgeous blue eyes for a moment. He waved his hand in front of my face. I shook my head and look at the road. The ride was uncomfortable for the next few minutes until Jay said something.

"Are you ok" he asked.

"You kissed me last night."

"Well doctor there's no visible memory loss."

"I heard you talking to Manny last night were you just trying to shut her up or did you mean it."

"Yes and no."

"Huh?"

"I was trying to shut her up but I did mean it."

"Oh."

"Is what she said true?"

I nodded.

We drove the rest of the Toronto in a not so uncomfortable silence. We drove to a Marriot to check in. An old man stood behind the desk. He looked at Jay and put his had on a button I'm assuming is for security. Jay looked mad so I put my hand on his shoulder I must have startled him because he jumped a little.

"Do you have a reservation" the scared man asked.

"Yea."

"Last name."

"Hogart" Jay rolled his eyes and the man instantly took his hand off of the button.

"Oh Mr. Hogart it's nice to see you again have you come to wreak havoc on the hotel once again."

"Oh come on that was like 10 years ago get over it."

"$242.15"

"WHAT? You're going to make me pay."

"Yes you're cousin has informed me to make you pay he also said you were coming alone and only got you a room with one bed."

"Then why is it $242.15?"

"I don't know that's just what he told me to ask for."

"That's crazy!"

"Jay it's ok I can pay my mom gave me a credit card for emergencies and I think not having anywhere to stay is an emergency."

"No it's fine I just got $300 from my cousin."

"Then why are you complaining" I asked.

"Because I thought it was a gift but apparently he's not that generous here" Jay handed the man the money and the man handed him two keys.

"So who is this lovely lady who is unfortunate enough to have to stay the weekend with you?"

"James this is Emma, Emma this is some dude who's worked here his whole life and whose goal in life is to annoy the hell out of me when I come twice a year."

"So this is the last time you're coming this year" the man smiled brightly.

I laughed.

"No I always come on Christmas you know that this is a special visit."

"Fine so what happened to that weird Alex girl?"

"We broke up."

"Why'd she dump you?"

"Did I say she dumped me" Jay asked.

I shook my head.

"You going to answer the question?"

"She found someone else."

"Someone better I hope."

"Yea her name is Paige" I said under my breath.

"You turned your girlfriend gay" the old man almost fell over laughing "what'd he do to her."

I gulped and looked at the ceiling.

"I cheated on her with her best friend."

"If I knew that cheating on women turned them gay I would've never cheated on Emily."

"When did you cheat on Emily" Jay looked shocked.

"Never you mind now go you have a busy day tomorrow."

"Hey I talked to Emily we're all going out to dinner tonight just giving you a heads up so you can put on your I don't loathe him I swear tie."

"You mean the hideous one you made me when you were five" the man stuck out his tongue.

"Yep the one that I purposely dropped in every color to made a muddy color."

"I thought you said it was an accident."

"I played rugby with Joe when I was four and you think I couldn't hold a tie" Jay laughed.

"I missed you kid."

"I missed you too" Jay smiled genuinely "come on let's go see how terrible the room they put us in is. We walked away from the desk and stood in front of the elevators waiting for them to open. A family with six kids walked out and we walked in.

"Is he your grandfather" I asked.

He nodded.

"Why do you call him James?"

"I called him grandpa once when I was really young and he told me that he was too young to be a grandpa and that I could call him James it just kind of stuck."

"He doesn't seem old enough to be your grandfather."

"My mom was really young."

"That's hard when your parents are really young not a lot of toys unless you have very nice grandparents which I can see you do."

"It wasn't that hard she got married 6 months before I was born my dad was already a lot older.

"Oh so he's your mom's father?"

He nodded.

"Why did he act like he thought you were some kind of delinquent?"

"He thinks I am."

"You know what I mean."

"It's just a bit we do."

"Then why did you get so mad."

"Because you were standing right there" he mumbled quickly.

I smiled as the elevator door opened. Our room was right in front of the elevator.

Jay shook his head.

"What?"

"He knows I don't like staying right across from the elevators it's too loud" he opened the door

"You're family is so cool" I flopped on the bed laughing.

"I'm glad you find my family torturing me amusing.

"Oh come on it's funny."

"Yea I guess they are pretty cool."

"So your grandfather works here."

"Yea he used to own it but my uncle took over then my cousin took over we'll be partners once I finish college that's the deal."

"Business?"

"No they're letting my study anything I want as long as I get a degree they can brag about" he changed his voice to sound like a bragging parent "we have two grandsons with college degrees." So what do you want to study?"

"Don't laugh."

"Ok"

"Literature."

"That's really cool."

He smirked and looked at the bed.

"I can sleep on a cot."

"Don't be silly the bed is huge there's enough room for both of us."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes now when are we going to dinner?"

"In about an hour"

"Wow that's soon I better call Manny now she left thirteen messages" I called Manny on my cell.

"Oh my god! Why are you in Toronto with Jay Hogart?"

"We're going to see a concert."

"Who?"

"All-American Rejects"

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I saw him on his way he said he had another ticket I asked if I could buy it he said he'd give it to and gave me a ride and we decided to stay in a hotel together."

"You're staying at a hotel?"

"Yea a Marriot owned by his cousin well first it was his grandfather who still works here then it was his uncle then it was his cousin."

"He took you to his family's hotel and you met his grandfather."

"Yea he is so nice and he...hold on" I walked into the bathroom "he looks so much like Jay the both have the same blue eyes."

"He does have nice eyes.

"Very nice eyes."

"Hey Emma you know these walls are very thin so going in there was pretty pointless" Jay said from the other room.

I squealed and banged my head against the wall.

"Emma stop banging your head" Manny yelled.

"Sorry."

"Are you going out of wherever you are?"

"No I can't face him."

"Go out there and call me when something more interesting then meeting another guys with those eyes."

"Fine bye" I hung up and walked out of the bathroom looking at the floor.

"If I told you I was kidding and didn't hear anything would you stop acting weird?"

"It depends would it be the truth?"

"No."

"Then no."

"It's not very funny when people jokes are humiliating you. My eyes widened and I pushed him off the bed where I had just sat down.

"Asshole" I yelled and stole the remote from him putting on Lifetime.

"You've got to be kidding me I'm not watching some pathetic girl in a short skirt."

"It's a commercial how did you know what was coming on?"

"That's what comes on at this time."

"I know that but why do you."

"My mom made me watch it with her everyday until I was 12."

I burst out laughing falling onto the floor and hitting my head.

"Karma" Jay shook his head and grabbed the remote. I gave him the puppy dog pout and he put it on the bed.

"What is it with women and watching this stupid show?"

"Mr. Sheffield is really dreamy" I and looked up and smiled.

"I thought you liked guys with blue eyes silly me must have heard you squealing wrong."

I pushed him off again. He came back up and started tickling me. I started laughing and scooting away until I scooted right off the bed.

"Now we're even" he sat with his back against a pillow on the bed. As I was getting up someone knocked on the door.

"Can you get that?"

"No you get it it's probably a relative considering you're related to half the people in the city.

"Emma I have something for you" someone said.

"See" jay pointed to the door "not for me unless my name changed to Emma."

I opened the door and a woman a little younger than Jay's grandfather came in.

"Hello Jason" she smiled brightly "oh dear there's only one bed I'll have James bring a cot."

"Well Emily I offered to sleep on a cot but Emma would rather us both sleep in the same bed."

My eyes widened.

"I never said that.'

"Oh Jason you terrible boy anyways James noticed you didn't have any bags and I don't see any here so I had Alice buy some clothes for you she's about your age so you should like them."

"Wasn't she supposed to go back to England like a year ago?"

"Yes but she's going to college here in Toronto now."

"Oh good for her is she staying with you?"

"No she's in a dorm."

"Good she was witch."

"Well many girls wouldn't be very pleasant if you purposely sprayed her thin white T-shirt with water."

I laughed.

"So why don't you have any bags?"

"Well it was kind of an impromptu trip."

"Did Jason just pick you up and whisk you away to Toronto."

"Uh something like that."

"How romantic" she smiled at Jay who was giving her the meanest look you could possibly give such a sweet woman "well look through the stuff I want to make sure you like it."

I looked through the stuff. All the clothes were really cute. Very London style. I wish I had a personal shopper from London but I'd probably miss the mall.

"Wow thank you so much."

"Anything for Jason's girlfriend."

I looked at Jay he shrugged I didn't say anything she left pretty quickly.

"You're grandmother said I was your girlfriend."

"I'll tell her you're not if you want."

"Jay."

"Yea."

"Am I your girlfriend?"

"Emma..."

"I mean you gave me a ticket to a concert you drove me to said concert and you're letting me stay in a hotel room with you most people don't so stuff like that for people who are just barely friends and I don't really think I can handle being just barely friends because every time I see you I more sure that I'm falling for you hard and fast" I released a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

He didn't say a word he just walked closer grabbed me by the waist and kissed me. I pulled away after a couple minutes.

"That whole speech was pretty unnecessary."

I was worried for a moment.

"I was going to say if you wanted to be then you are."

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him.


	5. Karaoke Blues

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi **

"So how long have you two been together" Jay's grandmother asked as we sat on the opposite side of the booth from her and her husband.

"About an hour" Jay laughed.

"You're joking right" his grandfather asked.

"No James unlike you I don't think everything is funny" Jay was now joking.

"I feel terrible your first date is with your old grandparents" his grandmother said sweetly.

"Good we can leave enough people have seen me in this tie" his grandfather stood up.

"Oh James sit down I said I felt bad not that I wanted to leave."

I laughed. They were so cute together. She started messing with his tie trying to get the light to hit so it didn't look like he'd recently fallen in the mud. I thought about their names. It was so weird. The first two letters of their names were the same as ours.

"Emma dear are you alright?"

"Oh yea just a little tired"

"Well they're usually pretty quick you guys can get going as soon as we're done I know you had a long drive."

The waiter came seconds later to take our drink and food orders. Apparently this is one of those places that want you to get out quickly. The food was brought out in about ten minutes. We ate quickly and left promising to see them again before we leave. We went back to the hotel and hung out in a little lounge place in the lobby where they were having karaoke night. There was a little blond girl maybe five years old singing an old Gloria Gaynor song.

"You know I think we might want to kill the next generation if they're trying to bring back disco" Jay said only half joking.

"Oh shut up she's cute."

"Yea like Hitler."

"You're the one who wants to kill off the kids."

"Not all of them just the ones singing Gloria Gaynor songs"

"Shut up let's see you get up there."

"No way"

"I dare ya."

"No."

"Come on I'll go if you go and I'll pick out your song and you'll pick out mine."

"Fine you go first."

"No I'm the one who came up with it you're going first and you're singing Copacabana."

"You're kidding"

"Nope" I shook my head and smiled.

"You know that guy got kicked off American Idol for that song."

"Good thing Ryan Seacrest isn't here although he is kind of cute."

"You think Ryan Seacrest is cute!"

"Yes I do."

"Wow didn't know that was the kid of guys you like I mean judging by the guys you went out with for any length of time."

"Just go up there." I pushed him towards the tiny corner stage.

He stood up there and the music started. He didn't sing anything for awhile then finally started after a death glare shot from me. I laughed the whole time he was standing there singing uncomfortably. He came back as soon as he finished singing with the music still playing. He started flipping through the book looking for a song.

"Here LaLa by Ashlee Simpson"

I started laughing. I got up and told the guy what song I wanted. I stood there while it started. The words appeared on the screen as I started singing. Jay choked at certain parts. I was laughing as I was singing so I sounded terrible. The music stopped and I walked back towards him.

"Let's go" he stood up and walked quickly out. I'd never seen anyone overanalyze a song as much as he did. I followed him almost falling over from laughing so much. I leaned against the back of the elevator and slid down laughing and holding my stomach.

"What is so goddamn funny?"

"You!"

"Nice to know I make you laugh."

"You are the only person I've ever seen that listens to a song so carefully they can pick up meanings like that."

"Well obviously you have."

"Well yeah but I've always overanalyzed things."

"You know I do kind of feel bad that we just got together and we had to have dinner with my grandparents."

"We were with them for less than an hour besides I like your grandparents they're really nice."

"You know I should tell Joe about that song."

I shook my head at his rapid subject change "who's Joe?"

"My uncle he lives in some small town in England he has an eight year old who loves Ashlee Simpson I thought they'd be like stupid kid songs especially with a name like LaLa."

"Jay if she's eight she probably doesn't get it and if she does she already knows about that stuff."

The elevator doors opened and we walked into the hotel room.

"I should call Manny she's probably worried that I'm having a totally boring time because I didn't call her."

"What?"

"Never mind" I called Manny.

"Hey Emma what's up did anything interesting happen you haven't called me are you bored."

"No we were out with his grandparents then we went to a karaoke night here and I made Jay sing Copacabana."

"You're terrible."

"Hold on one second Manny" I said quietly then turned to Jay "I'm going to go down I think I left something downstairs."

I walked out and into the elevator before I said anything else to Manny.

"I think we're going out."

"What how'd that happen?"

"Well his grandmother called me his girlfriend and then she left and I told him she called me that and he said he'd tell her I wasn't if I wanted him to then I asked if I was his girlfriend then he said Emma then I went on and on about something and he said if I wanted to be I was and then later his grandmother asked how long we'd been together and he said an hour."

"Well it sounds like you're going out to me."

"Oh my god I'm going out with Jay Hogart."

"Do you like him more than you liked Sean?"

"I don't know how can you tell?"

"Do you feel different around him then you did around Sean."

"Yes with Sean it was comfortable but with Jay when ever I see him I feel like I'm going to faint puke and kiss him all at the same time."

"Oh yeah you totally love him."

"I don't love him."

"Yes you do admit it."

"No."

"Yes."

"No"

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Do you love Jay Hogart?"

"Pass."

"Can't"

"Sure I can."

"You know why don't you answer if you don't love him what's the problem just say no he's not there it's not like you can hurt his feelings."

I hesitated "No, I don't love him."

"Liar" Manny yelled in my ear.

"Thanks for deafening me Manny."

"You are not deaf you are however in love you always hesitate when you lie."

"Manny enough I do not love Jay let it go just because I hesitated I don't love Jay! I don't love Jay! I don't love Jay!"

"You keep telling your self that but you will never convince yourself."

"Fine you know what I do love Jay but it doesn't matter because he doesn't love me I consider myself lucky that he didn't laugh in my face when I asked if I was his girlfriend. I'm not his type Manny."

"Emma he's changed you know he's changed I hate the guy and I can tell he's changed."

"You should see him around his family he's so sweet."

"Oh trust me he's not that sweet" a raspy voice said from behind me. I spun around and say Jay's grandfather standing behind me.

"Manny I'll call you back" I hung up "how long have you been there."

"I came around I don't love Jay I don't love Jay" he laughed the same adorable laugh as Jay.

"Please don't say anything to him please."

"You mean you're telling me not to talk to grandson I must tell Emily I don't have to talk to him at all anymore."

I smiled.

"I won't tell him what you said I promise."

"Thank you."

"You know I think you've had a good influence on him he certainly smiles more for awhile I thought he had forgotten that his mouth could turn upwards."

I laughed again.

"He's lucky. Jay's not stupid enough not to love you."

I smiled.

"Anyways when you see my darling grandson could you tell him I need his help with something."

"Yea sure" I stood up and went upstairs.

---------------------------------------

Jay's POV

"What do you need James" I asked.

"I was wondering if you wanted to work part of the night shift with me so we can catch up since apparently I missed a lot."

"Since when do you work nights again."

"Since Alice started spending Friday nights at the house."

"Oh yeah sure I'll hang here I'll call Emma and let her know" I called our room. She picked up after a few rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey Em I'm going to be down here for awhile to keep James company ok."

"Ok have fun."

"Oh yea because hanging with your grandfather is always thrilling.

"Play nice."

"Yes mother" I hung up.

"So why'd you decide to go back to school?"

"You know the deal go to college or I don't get the hotel."

"You could've gotten your GED."

"I hurt someone I cared about before I left and I just wanted to make it right."

"Alex?"

"No."

"So it was Emma."

"I didn't say it was Emma."

"You didn't say it wasn't."

"Fine it was Emma."

"What did you do to her?"

"I got her sick."

"Jay that's not exactly your fault I mean even if you sneezed... oh Jay tell me you didn't."

"I didn't know I had it" I defended myself.

"Is she ok now?"

I nodded.

"I can't believe she's with you after that."

"Honestly, neither can I."

"You really love her don't you."

"We've only been together for like a minute."

"It doesn't matter I knew I loved your grandmother the first time I met her."

"Yea I know you saw her in a store I've heard this."

"Well it was more of a strip club than a store" I choked.

"What?"

"Well there's something you never knew about your grandmother."

"Something I didn't want to know I was perfectly happy thinking she helped you pick out a shirt and you asked her for coffee now I know she took off her shirt and you asked for a lap dance... Bad mental image."

"You never answered my question."

"Could we not talk about it."

"Well I want to be all caught up and she must be a pretty big part of your life now if you brought her here you never even brought Alex here."

"She hated all of you."

"I like this new girl much better."

"So do I" I mumbled

"So then answer my question."

"I don't know."

"Jay..."

"Fine yes I love her I've loved her for a long time are you happy now."

"Yes."

"Geez."

"Why don't you tell her?"

"Because I'd rather not screw this up now I know she doesn't feel the same way. I'm not good enough for her..."

"That's true but obviously she doesn't see it like that otherwise she wouldn't be here."

"She'll realize soon and I'd rather not get in too deep before she leaves."

"Jason you're my grandson and I love you so I'm going to tell you this just because you don't say it doesn't mean you don't feel it and you're already as deep as you can get."

"I can't tell her knowing she'll just laugh in my face."

"Did she laugh in your face when you invited her here did she laugh in your face when you asked her to be your girlfriend?"

"Actually she asked if she could come and she asked if she was my girlfriend."

"Now does that sound like a girl who would laugh."

"I just can't do it."

"Damn it kids are so stubborn these days you know if your uncle hadn't listened to me and told your aunt she loved her you wouldn't have a cousin.

"So it's your fault I'm the only one who's had to share this place."

"Don't look at it like that."

"How should I look at it I'm so mad at him.

"Why it seems to me that if he hadn't backed out you wouldn't have a girlfriend."

"I wouldn't have had a girlfriend if Emily hadn't called her my girlfriend before we even officially started going out."

"Is that what brought on the girlfriend question?"

I nodded.

"Can I go now?"

"Yes go I feel caught up just remember what I said."

"Will do" I nodded and took the stairs up.

I walked to our room across from the elevators. I looked through my pockets. I didn't have my key. I looked through the hole. It was lying on the table. Emma was in the bed sleeping with the TV on NickNite. I didn't want to wake her so I took the elevator back downstairs.

"What happened?"

"I need a new room key I left mine in the room.

"So knock on the door she's in there right."

"She's sleeping I don't want to wake her."

"Fine here" he handed me a new key.

"Thanks" I ran back up. I opened the door and walked in. Emma was still sleeping so I changed in the bathroom. When I walked out she was sitting up.

"Oh hey sorry did I wake you."

"Yeah but it's ok how'd you get in you left your key here."

"I got a new one I didn't want to wake you but I guess I did anyways.

"I'm a pretty light sleeper even rain wakes me up" she smiled

"Well there's no rain in forecast."

She got out of bed and fished through the bags of clothes Alice bought her and pulled out a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and a white shirt thing that looked like a long bathing suit top but wasn't the same material.

"Uh Jay you ok" Emma said tilting her head.

"Huh yea" I lifted my head that had somehow fell.

"Ok" she got into bed obviously suppressing a laugh.

I got in bed too way on the opposite side so that I was almost falling off. She shook her head and pulled me.

"What is wrong with you if I remember correctly we've been a lot closer than this."

"I'm really sorry about that."

"I'm not, not anymore."

I scooted closer until her lips touched mine. She gasped from surprise and I took the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth. I pulled away when air became a necessity. Without skipping a beat she leaned in a kissed me again. I slid my hands underneath her shirt and slowly let them slide upwards. When I reached the bottom of her bra she pulled away and fell off the bed.

"Are you ok" I helped her up.

"Yea."

"I'm sorry I..."

"Don't it's fine."

"Emma..."

"No it's fine I'm going to sleep I'm pretty tired."


	6. Thin Walls

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi **

Jay was right the walls are thin. So thin I'm afraid he's going to break it if he keeps slamming his head against it. After I weigh my options I decide to see if he's ok. I slid off the pretty high bed and walked to the bathroom door. I waited a minute to see if he'd stop on his own. He didn't. I knocked once quietly but he didn't here so I knocked again louder. The banging stopped.

"Jay you know these walls are very thin."

I heard him start to cough and I bit my lip. I knocked again and the coughing stopped. The door opened. He looked uncomfortable. His eyes wandered. He looked everywhere except at me.

"Is it morning already?"

I shook my head. "Are you ok?"

"Oh yea I'm pretty wired I'm going to hang out downstairs" he said uncomfortably.

"Want me to come with?"

"No, no you stay here" he ran out quickly.

"Something is really wrong with him" I said to myself and called Manny.

-------------------------------------------

Jay's POV

"Err" I hit my head against the desk. James came over and picked my head up from my hair.

"What happened?"

"I screwed up" I rubbed my head.

"Do tell."

"I'd rather not."

"I can't help if you don't tell."

"I don't think you can help period."

"Try me."

"Ok well we were making out..."

"And you tried something."

"No... Well not really I just put my hand under her shirt I didn't even get anywhere she just kind of freaked and fell off the bed."

"What did you say after?"

"I helped her up and..."

"She let you help her up."

"Yeah."

"Hmmm and what."

"And I said I was sorry she said it was fine then..."

"She said it was fine."

"Yeah."

"Hmmmm."

"Then she said she was tired and was going to bed."

"Did you go to sleep too?"

"No I went into the bathroom to..."

"Hit your head against a wall like you did with the desk you get that from your father he got a concussion the night your mother told us about you."

"Great to know my father is just as big of a loser as I am."

"So what happened between then and now."

"She came and asked if I was ok then..."

"She asked if you were ok."

"Yea"

"Hmmmm"

"Would you stop that you sound like a doctor what does hmmmm mean?"

"Well based on what you're saying and the fact that she's behind you cracking up over how stupid you can be sometimes I'd say she's not mad."

I spun around to see her smiling and shaking her head.

"What is wrong with you? Ever since you came down here to help him out you've been acting like a completely different person what'd he do to you I want my Jay back."

"Don't blame me for your horrible taste in guys."

"You are a mean old man."

"Refer back to my previous statement."

"Come on maybe you can sleep off your grandfather's brainwashing."

"You coming up" I asked.

"I'll be right up you go ahead without me."

------------------------------

Emma's POV

"Did you say anything that might turn him into crazy Jay?"

"Not that I know of personally I think he was always crazy but you seem to be the one affecting him not me."

"What are you saying I'm bad for you."

"The opposite."

"So you think it's good that I'm making him try to give himself serious brain injuries?"

"Well that's not your fault that's in his blood but it's you that is making him feel like he needs to bang his head some kids cut Jay bangs his head on solid objects until he passes out."

"So I make him depressed."

"No think of Jay as living in Topsie Turvie."

"Isn't that from a cartoon on The House of Mouse?"

"Yes."

"Ok I got it go on."

"When he's happy he's stressed because he doesn't no how to be happy so you just have to make sure he's unhappy and he'll be fine."

"Do you have any aspirin my head is killing me."

"Yea here" he handed me a bottle of aspirin and water. I took it quickly.

"Ok now let me get this straight he doesn't know how to be happy so he's stressed like when you don't know how to do something on a test."

"Yea."

"So why can't I teach him how to be happy?"

"How?"

"I don't know you're the one with all the age and wisdom."

Someone snickered.

"What was that" I asked. Jay's grandfather went into the back and pulled Jay out by his ear.

"I can't believe you'd eavesdrop on a private conversation" he shook his head disapprovingly.

"I can't believe you compared me to a cutter" he countered. I laughed.

"I was trying to make it easier to understand."

"You still gave her a headache even with your crazy comparisons. Topsie Turvie."

"Will you guys stop it you act more like brothers than you do grandfather and grandson."

"Well what do you know."

"Apparently more than you."

"Keep this one."

"If I can keep up with her" Jay smirked. My heart always flipped when he smirked. Or looked at me. Or laughed. Or smiled. Or spoke. Or moved.

"Do you really not know how to be happy" I laughed.

"Don't listen to him he's a little sick in the head."

"That I am but remember Emma it's genetic."

"Oh I know that already we might have to have the men in white coats carry you away" I hit Jay's back and ran. He chased after me Iran into the elevator with a bunch of other people.

"Damn hooligans shouldn't be allowed in hotels" one elderly man said.

"Tell that to the guy at the desk he'd love to throw him out."

The elevator doors opened at our floor and I ran out and into the room. Jay was already there standing behind the door with a pillow. I grabbed the pillow from him and hit him with it before he noticed I was there. He took his own pillow from the bed and hit me with it as I ran past. I jumped on the bed and hit him over the head sending him falling back and hitting the wall.

"Oh my god are you ok" I ran over to see him. He hit me with a pillow.

"Hey no fair" I hit him again as he passed by.

"All's fair in love and war" he hit me with a pillow and I fell back onto the bed pulling him down with me.

He tried to roll over to get off of me but I pulled him back and kissed him. After a moment of shock he quickly deepened the kiss. I pulled away for a second and he started trailing light kisses down my neck and arm. When he got to my elbow I put my hand on the side of his face and he moved back up as our lips crashed against each other. I ran my fingers through his hair then settled my hands on the back of his neck. There was a knock on the door and he groaned as he got up to get it.

"What do you want James?"

"The couple next you would like you to please stop fighting because they're on their honeymoon and it's depressing to hear other couples fighting."

"We weren't fighting"

"Well obviously! That shade of lip gloss does not look good on you" he shook his head and I buried my head in a pillow.

"Aw she embarrasses easily how cute I'll leave before she suffocates herself as you were."

"You know I kind of feel bad for them you'd think we'd hear a little more you know."

"Have you seen them they're ancient!" James left and Jay shut the door.

In the morning we got up around nine. We got dressed and left. In the elevator were two people probably in they're late nineties that I assumed to be the honeymooners from next door.

"That's the couple that were fighting" the old lady said "she's the one who was bothering Morty."

"You'll get through the fight" the old man smiled.

"They hardly look old enough to be married."

"You hardly look young enough to be alive" Jay snapped back.

"We're not married" I smiled sweetly at the cute old couple.

"And you're staying together in a hotel that's how girls get themselves in a lot of trouble a lot of trouble."

"Look lady you may still think it's 1855 but the truth is it's the 21st century and people aren't usually virgins when they die."

"Jay lay off!"

The elevator door opened and they slowly walked out.

"It's a shame really such a pretty girl too bad she's a whore" the old lady whispered and shook her head.

"Let me at her" I lunged for her but Jay pulled me back.

"He's not much better just a pimp."

"All guys are these days but her how could she be so stupid as to associate herself with such scum.

"Listen lady you can say what ever you want about me but she is the kindest smartest most thoughtful person I've ever met and I won't let you say anything bad about her because she doesn't deserve it." The couple walked away and James walked over to them and asked the to leave.

"Thank you" I hugged him "that was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."


	7. Joke's on You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Did anyone doubt that?**

My phone rang as we drove around looking for something to do until the concert. I looked at it. It was Manny. I opened the phone.

"What's up Manny?"

"Would you be mad if I went out with one of your ex-boyfriends?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yes Manny who are you going out with Peter because I don't think that's a good idea and I'm not just saying that because he's my ex or the whole video thing."

"Sean."

"Aw Manny that's great I think he'll be really good for you. What happened?"

"I was upset because Craig had come over begging for forgiveness so I went to The Dot to drown in a chocolate shake and French fries and he was there and we started talking then I tried to kiss him and he pulled away and I asked about Ellie and he said they were over before they started then I asked why he pulled away and he said he really liked me and didn't want to be the rebound guy and I said he wouldn't be and then he asked me to go to the movies with him then I thought about it as I finished my shake and said I'd ask you so I came home and called you."

"This all happened today?"

"No I slept between coming home and calling you."

"Oh ok now it makes sense you know you don't need my permission to go out with anyone no matter who it is."

"Thanks Em I have to call Sean bye."

She hung up and I laughed.

"You ok?"

"Of course why wouldn't I be I'm going to see my favorite band and I get to hang out with my new favorite person."

"Me" he said proudly.

"No you're grandfather" I said with false seriousness.

"Real nice" he finally stopped in front of the hotel deciding there is nothing to do in Toronto. We walked in. James was standing behind the desk eating a prune.

"Oh look at him eating that dried plum you know that's hot."

"Yea it's hot if you're having a hot flash."

"Oh come on you think you could pull that off."

"I don't think anyone under 60 could pull that off."

"Well it's a good thing he just turned 60 two months ago."

"How do you know his birthday I don't even know his birthday."

Jay shot him a deadly glare as we got closer.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Can't take a joke."

"Poor kid never could.

"Oh this from the man who didn't speak to me for a week because I put a whoopee cushion under him."

"They were our biggest customers and they left and never came again!"

"Jay you didn't" I said honestly shocked.

"I was four!"

I laughed. I loved seeing him around his family. I didn't have a family like this with a lot of memories that make you want to crawl under a rock and hug someone at the same time. I liked how just for the weekend I was almost a part of this. Even if this dream ended Sunday afternoon and Jay and I were just barely friends. Although I really hoped it didn't.

"Hey Jay" a man a few years older than Jay came around the corner.

"Jesse nice to see you after you bailed on me" Jay said semi-bitterly.

"Well you obviously took no time in finding better company."

"How's Jeff?"

"Wait a minute James, Joe, Jesse, Jeff what is it with the Js?"

"Got a problem with Js" James asked.

"No I'm just saying doesn't it get confusing how do you know who's who."

"Well I'm number one then Joe then Jeff then Jesse then Jay actually it's kind of weird that Jesse's name starts with J because Jeff didn't name him his parents died when he was two and they adopted him when he was five" James explained.

"Ok I got it now carry on."

"Who is she" Jesse asked.

"My girlfriend Emma" Jay introduced me as his girlfriend.

"I like her. Much better than the creepy chick I thought she was going to eat my head when I asked her if you planned to wear the same outfit to be funny or if she just enjoys wearing boy's clothes."

I almost fell to the floor in a fit of laughter.

"Shouldn't that have been your first clue that she wasn't into your kind?" James asked.

Now I was on the floor.

Jesse was laughing to. After a minute of watching everyone laughing Jay found the humor in the situation and started laughing too. Someone came up to the desk and cleared their throat. Everyone stopped laughing and looked at her. Jay helped me up.

"Do you have any rooms?"

"Yes actually one just opened up this morning you're lucky they left early."

"May I asked why they left early?"

"They were forced" I mumbled and laughed. Jay laughed too.

"Forced" the lady choked.

"They were disturbing a very valuable customer."

"Poor old couple didn't know who they were dealing with" Jay coughed and laughed.

"What happened" she seemed very interested.

We told her the story. She found it very funny and not at all harsh that James threw them out. She was a recent college graduate looking for work as a journalist.

"You guys have fun at the concert" she said before walking away to her room.

We all cracked up after she left.

"I have to go I just wanted to come and say hi see you in December Jay nice meeting you Emma."

"Nice meeting you too."

Jesse left and we all started laughing again.

Later that night I found myself standing in the front row dancing to my favorite song. They were maybe five feet away from us it was amazing. I actually pinched myself to make sure this was real. With every passing minute I was becoming surer of the fact that this was indeed happening. After the concert we walked around. It was a clear night. You could see every star in the sky. There was a full moon. Jay had his arm around my waist. We passed a park where many people were laying looking at the stars. He pulled me closer and whispered in my ear.

"Have I told you how amazing you look tonight?"

"No" my voice was shaky and untrustworthy.

"You look amazing."

"You don't look so bad yourself Hogart" I managed to say.

I noticed an alleyway where a lot of people around our age were going. I tapped Jay's shoulder and showed him.

"Ok."

"Let's go" I crossed the street as he ran after me.

"Emma I don't think that's such a good idea" he warned. There was a door on the side of one of the buildings where they were going. I walked in. It was dark. White glowed under the dark light. Every table had unlit candles. There was a little stage where a girl was reciting a poem. I dragged Jay in and sat at a table in the back. The girl stopped suddenly.

"It seems we have two newcomers" she frowned "why don't you come on up and introduce yourself" she motioned for us to come. Jay gave me a look and followed me up onto the stage.

"Ok just tell us your first names and what brought you here no other words just name and reason."

"Emma I saw a bunch other people coming and wanted to see what was going on."

"Jay she dragged me in here."

"Curious and uh well I guess um well she's curious I don't know what you are you can go now" she pointed to the door.

We left a little weirded out.

"Were we just thrown out?"

I nodded.

"Can we go back to the hotel now it's almost midnight?"

"Ok grandpa" I nodded and laughed.

"Very funny now let's go."

"What are you scared that the poetry people are going to come and get you" I laughed and ran as he ran after me. We ran the whole half a block back to the hotel.

"Hi James" I said as I passed him.

"Hi Emma did you have fun?"

"Tons" I opened the door to the stairs. I opened the door quickly and plopped on the bed turning on the TV.

The door opened again and Jay came in.

"Live from New York it's Saturday Night" I said along with the TV and laughed at Jay.

"Never pictured you as a Saturday Night kind of girl."

"Really."

"No I always thought you were more of a Mad TV girl."

"Ugh I hate Mad TV" I stuck out my tongue.

"Me too."

"Jay" I whispered.

"Yeah Em?"

"Um... who do you think would win in a fight Superman or Spiderman?"

"What?"

"I know Jack would be mad if I didn't at least ask."

"Superman" Jay shrugged.

"That's what he says"

I was falling asleep halfway through the show. I finally turned over and closed my eyes when I noticed that I had no clue what was going on. I could feel Jay's eyes on me. I heard him turn the volume down so low that he could barely hear it.

"I love you" he whispered so quietly I almost didn't catch it but I did. I smiled and went to sleep completely happy for the first time in a very long time.

I woke up to Jay stepping out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. I pretended to sleep for a minute until he found his clothes in his duffel bag. I stood up and tiptoed overt to him as we walked back into the bathroom. I slid my hands up his back right before he went into the bathroom.

"Hey" he breathed "did I wake you?"

"No I was already awake"

"Well we should leave soon you told you're mom you'd be back early today."

I nodded.

"Why don't you get dressed out here and let me take a shower."

"Ok" he nodded.

I grabbed one of my new outfits and skipped into the bathroom. I saw Jay frown.

"What you didn't actually think I'd let you see me in a towel did you" I laughed and closed the door.


	8. The World As We Know It

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Rub it in why don't you.**

The burnt orange civic pulled into the driveway of my house. The door flew open and Manny ran out holding Jack. She says something that I can't hear and starts jumping up and down and screaming incoherently. Jack looks like he's about to be sick. He turns his head and pukes. Manny squeals and almost drops him.

"Manny" I yelled and opened the door taking poor baby Jack from her arms "are you trying to kill him?"

"No I wouldn't have dropped him" Manny defended herself.

"What were you yelling about?"

"Oh yeah the world as we know it is coming to an end."

"Why Craig and Ellie are getting married."

"THEY ARE! I wonder if she's pregnant."

"I hear he's pretty good at getting girls pregnant" Jay piped in. I looked at him shocked.

"Have you taught him the rules yet" Manny asked.

"I'm sorry rules" Jay said worriedly.

"These stupid rules we came up with when we were like 8 because Manny's crush kept saying I was nerd and she started agreeing with everything he said so we made a rule boyfriends/crushes can't say anything bad about one of us or he's no longer a boyfriend/crush the rule has never been enforced since."

"It hasn't needed to we've always had decent boyfriends."

"I believe we decided it went the other way in grade five if one rule has to be enforced shouldn't both of them be."

"Fine no rules but next time he says anything like that I will personally hire someone to kick his ass" she stomped back into the house.

"Nice ducks" Jay yelled commenting on her pajama bottoms.

"You're not even going to try and be civil are you?"

"You over estimate your power over me."

"Oh do I" I smiled remembering last night.

He nodded "I'll see you tomorrow."

I floated into the house on cloud nine.

"I'll see you tomorrow" Manny repeated what he said "not much of a boyfriend is he? He didn't even kiss you."

"Uh huh" I walked downstairs letting Jack down and ignoring her. She followed me and sat next to where I was lying on the bed.

"What happened?"

"You have to swear not to say a word to anyone."

"I swear."

"He said he loved me."

"When?"

"Last night."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"Maybe that's why he's mad."

"He doesn't know I heard him."

"This I have to hear."

"Well last night he was watching me..."

"Creepy."

"He thought I was sleeping..."

"Cute."

"So he just looked at me for awhile and then whispered I love you."

"Aw that's so sweet" Manny cooed.

"Where is everyone?"

"Oh that reminds me the world as we know it is coming to an end."

"What happened exactly?"

"We're moving to Florida."

"What? Why?"

"Who knows? I actually got the choice of either going back with my parents or going with you I told my parents and do you know what they did?"

I shook my head.

"They handed me adoption papers."

"What?"

"Yeah I know long story short we've got the same parents and we're going to live in Mickey Mouse world."

"Just as everything was going good."

"Now do you believe that the world as we know it is coming to an end?"

I nodded "when do we leave?"

"Here's the worst part next week."

"NEXT WEEK?"

"They wanted to move before we got too far into school."

"I have to go" I ran upstairs and out the door.

I saw the car way in the distance. I started running after it. I tore a page from a notepad I kept in my jacket pocket. I crumpled it up and threw it at the car. Luckily it hit it. The car came to a screeching halt. I ran up to it and tapped on his window. Sometime between the time I left and now I had started crying. He rolled down the window.

"What's wrong?"

"Florida."

"What?"

"Mickey Mouse."

"Emma I know the mouse is weird but it's nothing to cry over."

"Next week."

"You're going on vacation why are you crying."

"Permanent."

"Permanent you mean you're moving to Florida."

I nodded. He opened the door and I walked around to the other side and got in. He looked a me for a minute then turned around and drove back to my house. My parents were back. When I got out of the car mom came running towards me.

"Did you have fun in Toronto?"

"Yeah too bad you had to ruin it" I ran into the house and downstairs into my room.

----------------------------

Jay's POV

"What happened" Mrs. Simpson asked.

I shrugged.

"You decided that we were all going to Florida" Manny walked out. She was now in jeans and a T-shirt instead of the duck pajamas.

"I thought she'd be happy" Ms. Simpson blinked "I thought she'd like a fresh start I was only trying to fix everything."

"Did you notice how she hasn't stopped smiling since school started?" Manny asked "Did you realize that she was suddenly getting rides to school everyday? Did you notice that she's been singing in the shower again? She only sings when she's happy I know you know that. Did you even think about it when she was suddenly going off to Toronto for the weekend? No you didn't. You were so busy trying to make her feel better you didn't realize someone had beaten you to it."

"But I thought this would be a chance to start over and meet new people" Mr. Simpson said.

"Maybe she doesn't want to meet new people maybe she wants to be around the people she's known forever" I said quietly.

"And who are you to even speculate about what she wants" Simpson asked.

"Don't snap at him just because you screwed up" Manny stood next to me "I'm going to go check on Emma you want to come?"

I nodded and followed her as her parents stood there completely lost.

Manny led me down to the basement where Emma was sitting on the edge of her bed staring at the floor.

"Hey Em are you ok?"

"I'm fine Manny" Emma wiped a tear from her face.

"You should've been there they tried to justify the move."

"Oh really what did they say?"

"It was for your happiness apparently they hadn't noticed you were already happy."

"I know I'm being a brat and I should just go with an open mind I mean it's sunny and warm but I just can't seem to find any reason why I should be happy about the move."

"I agree."

"I'm going to go" I mouthed and walked quietly out of the room.

I drove to my house in complete silence. That was weird for me I never drove in silence unless someone was in the car with me. Alex was sitting at the end of my driveway off to the side. I stopped right next to her and rolled down the window.

"You ok?"

"Yeah" she nodded "no actually I'm not I need your help."

"What kind of help?"

"The 50 bucks kind of help."

"Why?"

"I borrowed something from this guy and now he wants money."

"What did you borrow?"

"No nothing like that I just took some money from this diner I was working at and now they're pissed and I'm fired."

"Lexi I can't."

"Please Jay if I don't give it back within the next two days they're pressing charges."

"It's 50 bucks what's the worst they can do community service."

"I'm not worried about them."

"I'm not going to bail you out anymore Lex."

"Please just one more time then you'll never see me again your mother can rest easy knowing I won't be back."

"You saw my mom."

"Yeah surprisingly she was very polite."

"My mom polite to you she must've had a good day."

"Where were you by the way?"

"Toronto."

"I thought you only went twice a year."

"I was going to go to a concert with Jesse but he bailed."

"Who'd you go with?"

"Emma."

"Nelson!"

"I nodded.

"Cause girl why'd you go with her?"

"Her name is Emma and I wanted to go with her."

"You're going out with cause girl!"

"Her name is Emma."

"Why would you go out with cause girl?"

"Why would you go out with a girl?"

"Ouch."

"Look I can't give you the money get it from someone else."

"Who? The monopoly man"

"I can't give it to you that's it sorry but Jay's piggy bank is permanently closed."

"To everyone or just me?"

"I suggest you start looking for another way to get money."

"Are you ok?"

"Yea why"

"I don't know you just seem a little down is everything ok."

"Fine."

"No it's not what's wrong."

"Emma's moving."

"Where?"

"Florida."

"When?"

"Next week."

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not a minute ago you were practically gagging at the thought of us going out."

"A minute ago I hadn't realized how much you cared about her."

"Yea well you should get going you don't want to run out of time to get money."

"Yea bye Jay" she walked away quickly as I pulled the rest of the way into the driveway and walked into the house. Downstairs there was the kitchen living room family room dining room a den and a breakfast nook. Upstairs there were three bedrooms. My mom was sitting in the family room watching reruns still in her nurses' uniform.

"Hey mom" I sat down next to her.

"Oh hey Jay Alex was here earlier."

"Yea I saw her."

"Oh ok did you have fun?"

"As much fun as I could possibly have spending the weekend with James."

"I hear you have a new girlfriend."

"News travels entirely too fast in this family."

"So who is she I hear everyone loves her and James actually threw a ninety year old couple out for her she must be pretty great if they like her."

"Yeah she's great" I said sullenly.

"Then why so blue did she dump you already?"

"No she's moving next week."

"Where."

"Florida."

"Wow can't get much farther than that without leaving the continent."

I nodded.

------------------------------

Emma's POV

I sitting alone in my room. The lights were off and I was in a corner. Tears were streaming down my face too fast for me to even attempt to wipe them away. I had no right to cry they were only trying to help. I kept telling myself that but my thoughts always switched to the past couple of days. I hadn't had that much fun in so long. I looked at the clock. I had to go to school and put on a happy face in three hours. How did it get to be that late or early depending on how you looked at it? Manny went to sleep on the couch at 10. I don't think I slept at all. I finally went to bed. I don't remember falling asleep but Manny was downstairs getting ready for school when I woke up. I looked at the clock again. I didn't have time to shower. I grabbed a pair of sweat pants and an old T shirt and threw it on while I walked upstairs.

"Emma are you ok" mom asked.

"Fine" I sat down on the couch.

"Emma you'll be happy once we get there you can make some new friends."

"And if I don't want new friends."

"You'll be happy trust me" dad chimed in.

"I do trust you but I also know that no matter how happy I am in Florida I'd still be happier here."

"Why because of Jason?"

"Yea dad because of Jay he makes me happy do you know what that means."

"Emma he got you sick."

"He didn't purposely get me sick and he's not the only one who should be blamed for that."

"He took advantage of you when you were vulnerable."

"You make me sound like some damsel in distress."

"We're going."

"Yeah I got that next week see you then" I walked out of the house.

Jay was standing in front of his car at the curb. I looked back at my parents who were standing in the doorway. I walked to the car and got in as he held the door. He walked around the car to the other side saying something to them in the process.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing don't worry about it."

"Ok" I let it go not wanting to make trouble "how opposed are you to skipping."

He turned a corner that would lead us away from school.

"So how are you in 12th grade if you didn't go to school last year?"

"Believe it or not I had enough credits when I got expelled that I passed 11th grade."

"Where are we going?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere but here."

"You really don't want to go to school so you can spend as much time with your friends as possible."

I thought about it for a minute.

He made a U turn when I didn't answer and we were at school in just enough time. I went to Simpson's class reluctantly leaving Jay.

"Emma I can't believe you're moving" Liberty whispered.

"You told them" I looked at Manny who nodded.

"What's going on with you and Jay" Toby asked.

"I'm not really sure anymore."

Jay sat our table at lunch. Manny looked at him and smiled then looked at me. She must've asked him to sit there. JT and Liberty were fighting about something. Toby was trying to make his pudding soft enough to eat. Manny was just staring at us. Sean walked over to the table and sat next to Manny.

"Hey you wanted to tell me something."

"I'm moving."

"What? When?"

"Next week."

"With Simpson."

She nodded.

"This sucks" I shook my head at the thought of leaving.

"This is crazy."

"Spike grew up here so did Snake why would they want to leave."

"Maybe they think they're doing what's best for you" Jay shrugged. Everyone stared at him.

"Now I have to know what you said to them."

"Nothing they just made sense."

"How can it make sense" Manny asked "they're removing us from what we know."

"But maybe that's not such a bad idea I mean you've lived here forever maybe you need to get a feel for what it's like to be somewhere else in a school that's not cursed and overly dramatic."

I walked away.

--------------------------------

Jay's POV

The bell rang and as I was about to get up to leave Manny told me to stay as everyone else left.

"Look I know you love Emma. Don't deny it. What I need to know is can you handle it."

I decided there's no point in lying to her to sound cool or keep up my image.

"If you mean can I handle not cheating on her while she's far away yea I can. If you mean can I handle her being so far away and not being able to see her everyday then I'm not quite sure."

She stood up.

"That's all I needed to know have fun in class."


	9. Even The Best Families Have Dark Secrets

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

Jay talked to Spinner as I sat pouting at a table in the corner of the Dot. I was being a baby. I took comfort in the fact that I was still capable of moving unlike Manny who is now attached to the stairs. I hadn't talked to anyone since lunch. It was almost nine. I couldn't even think about being that far away from everyone.

"I hate them" I yelled.

Jay and Spinner both looked at me like I was crazy. I got up and walked out. I slid down the wall. I put my head in my hands. My elbows were resting on my knees. It was cool for September. Jay walked out and sat next to me. He was perfect. If when I first met him someone would've told me that I'd be spending hours crying over him I would've said oh really what did he take now? I never would've imagined that I'd be crying simply because I didn't want to leave him. This could be it for us. We just got together. Long distance relationships are hard when you've been together for years. It's even harder when you've only been together a few days. The wind blew. My hair fell in front of my face. Jay pushed it back behind my ear wiping away a stray tear in the process. There were no gorgeous stars tonight just clouds covering the beauty of the nighttime sky.

"Why don't I take you home it's getting late you're the only one who knows where the keys to Manny's handcuffs are."

"I can't go back. I don't want to see them not tonight"

"So you're going to leave Manny stuck to the stairs."

"She knows where they are I'm sure someone will get them for her if she really wants to get up. I'll go back later when I know they're asleep."

"Well Spinner has to close up so in the mean time let's go back to my place."

I nodded and let him lead me to his car.

His house was cute not what I'd expect if it wasn't for my having met his family. They had deep red couches in the family room. His mother was sitting watching Pretty in Pink.

"Molly Ringwald is an inspiration for all girls" I said. She looked over to me.

"You must be Emma" she got up and walked over to where we were standing between the kitchen and the family room. She hugged me.

"I've heard so much about you not much from Jay but he rarely talks about anything anymore but James just loves you says you're a real gone gal what ever the hell that means."

"Gone gal would be the equivalent of the 90's babe the term was used mostly in the late 40's and early 50's which is surprising that he would say it or at least say it seriously considering based on the fact that he's recently turned 60 he would be rather young and probably not too interested in girls at the time."

Both of them looked at me like I had grown another head. My cheeks grew hot and I could tell I was probably scarlet. Jay's mother started laughing.

"I can see why he likes you how'd you know that."

I shrugged.

"Meet my mother she's just like everyone else"

"Oh don't listen to him I'm Sam."

"It's nice to meet you. You have a lovely home."

"Why thank you" she smiled "Jay why don't you take her upstairs your dad is coming home soon so he'll probably steal the remote and chances are you two will be very bored I'll send him up so he can say hi though."

"Great bye" Jay walked upstairs quickly. I followed close behind.

"Why are you so weird with your family you act like they're the strangest people in the world I think they're cool much better than my dysfunctional family you guys actually seem to like each other in your own way nothing how anyone else would picture your family or house I love this house."

"That's the thing it just kind of ruins my rep you know."

"Well who am I going to tell don't worry about it" He opened the door to his room. It looked just how I thought it would look.

There was a bed against the far wall. His bedspread was black. There were posters everywhere. He had CDs stacked to the ceiling. There's a desk on the wall across from his bed. There was a laptop sitting on it that was obviously better than the one he had stolen. There was no point to anything he did. He had plenty of money to buy what he needed there was no point in stealing anything. Although I hadn't seen him steal anything in awhile. He had a picture of him and James at a lake. James was wearing this awful fishing outfit and Jay was in his normal clothes. His face clearly said he didn't want to be there. He was frowning and rolling his eyes as James hugged him wearing the fakest smile I'd ever seen on the man although I wasn't one to judge I hadn't seen him that much. There was a flat screen TV on top of a chest right next to the closet. He had books on a book shelf next to the CDs.

"Uh are you ok" he asked.

"Me oh yeah I'm fine you're room is cool."

"Thanks."

"Do you want to go I'm sure there must be something better to do then just hang here."

"You're really antsy you're never this antsy what's going you've been acting weird since we got here what's going on."

"Nothing let's go" he walked downstairs right into who I assume to be his father.

"Hey Jay did you miss your old man so much you had to run into him?"

"Does he always talk in the third person" I asked quietly. Jay shook his head and walked passed him without a word.

"What's wrong with him" I asked myself out loud.

"He embarrasses easily I guess I'm not sure maybe it's something he ate or maybe he just needed some air" he guessed.

"Uh ok" I walked passed him and found Jay standing in front of his car.

"Is that really your dad?"

Jay nodded.

"He didn't seem to know you very well."

"He comes home for one week every two months he's been cheating on my mom since I was four she knows she doesn't care."

"Jay I'm so sorry I didn't know."

"Don't worry about it I usually avoid the house while he's there."

I looked at my watch they were probably sleeping by now. Manny was probably tired of being chained there too.

"I should be getting home" I said.

"Let me drive you it's dark."

I nodded.

I snuck in through the window then walked up and got Manny who ran down and went to bed quickly. Jay and I stood by the window kissing. I pushed him back and looked up at him for a minute.

"Bye Jay."


	10. Never Going To Say Good Bye

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

I looked around my empty room. Everything was gone. There was only carpet. Everyone was upstairs. Everyone included JT, Liberty, Toby, and Sean. Jay didn't show. I haven't talked to him since that night. We said our good byes. Well I said good bye and he left. I knew at the very moment he crawled out of the window that it was over. It never really began though. I snapped a picture of the empty room and walked upstairs hot tears streaming down my face. I hugged all of my friends and walked outside to put my bag in the car. An orange civic was parked at the curb. I looked back at my parents they nodded. I got into the car silently. On the radio Listen to Your Heart by DHT was playing.

"I thought you didn't like me anymore I mean you didn't say anything and you didn't call."

"I wasn't aware your phone broke and you forgot how to speak."

"You left without a word I didn't want to say something and have you ignore me again."

"I wasn't ignoring you I didn't want to say good bye."

We were nearing my house again.

"Well say it now."

"No."

The car stopped and I got out waving to him as I got into the back of the car with Manny. I waved to all my friends. Manny shouted out another good bye to Sean and I felt like a knife had been shoved right through my heart then twisted until even the handle was bloody. As we sped out of the town I had lived in my entire life I thought I'd cry maybe even scream but as soon as the house the orange civic and my friends were out of site the knife was taken out and left just a hole. I felt absolutely numb and it was scary as hell. Not once have I ever felt as empty as I do right now.

I know how those widows feel. I used to think it was utterly ridiculous that those women would wait for their husbands to magically reappear. They weren't crazy or delusional they were hanging on to one tiny shred of hope. Not to escape sadness they were sad they were so sad they often died or starved they did it to escape emptiness. They wanted to hold onto the thought of their husbands coming home just so they did have that terrifying hole in their heart. They wanted to feel.

Manny started texting Sean. She would smile. I couldn't smile. Then she would laugh. I couldn't laugh. She would frown. I couldn't frown. She would cry. I couldn't cry. I saw myself in the rearview mirror. My expression was completely indifferent. My eyes looked blank and bloodshot. There were dried tears on my face. Listen to Your Heart started playing on the radio. I looked at the display. It wasn't even the same radio station. We pulled into the parking lot of the airport. We walked in. That song that I was beginning to hate was playing again. Suddenly hat empty feeling was so great I thought for sure my heart had vanished. I don't even think I had a pulse.

"I can't" I stopped as we walked to security "I can't I'm sorry."

I ran out. In the drop off/pick up lane there was a burnt orange civic. I was sure it wasn't his. It couldn't be. The owner of the car opened the door and walked in front of it. There he was backwards baseball cap sunglasses and all. I ran towards him. I threw my arms around his neck and he lifted me off the ground as my lips crashed into his. The song I no longer hated was playing in the background.

"I love you" he whispered in my ear.

"I love you too." Suddenly I was smiling laughing and crying all at the same time. My feet touched the floor and the arms that had at some point wrapped around my waist fell. I turned around. Mom was standing there carrying Jack with Manny to her right and dad to her left. Manny had the weirdest proudest grin on her face. Dad was fuming. Mom was just smiling politely as always. Jack was sleeping with a goofy baby grin on his face.

"Mr. and Mrs. Simpson Manny" Jay nodded towards them.

"Hello Jason" dad said curtly.

"Emma we're going to miss our plane if we don't hurry" mom said.

I nodded and turned back towards Jay.

"Bye Jay."

"See ya Emma Greenpeace."

I shook my head and smiled as he smirked.

"I love you" he said barely loud enough for the others to hear. Manny squealed quietly.

"I love you too" she squealed a little louder.

I walked into the airport. The song was no longer playing. The empty feeling hadn't returned. For that I was thankful. Instead I had so many emotions I thought I'd burst. It was wonderful until one emotion took over. Sadness. I may have found the one person I will ever truly love. Most people search their whole lives for that. Some never find it. I found it at a young age and had to leave it.

The in-flight movie was as always a lame old movie. Little kids watched intently for all of about five minutes until they started getting antsy. This included Jack. Manny was talking to Sean. I started crying as Toronto was mentioned by someone in the seat in front of us. My mind instantly went to that weekend. That was possibly the best few days I've ever had. Manny hung up with Sean and started trying to comfort me.

"Manny I know you're only trying to help but I just need to be left alone for awhile ok."

She nodded. A stewardess walked to our seat.

"Emma Nelson?"

I nodded.

She handed me a package.

"A young man who wishes to remain anonymous asked me to give this to you as we crossed the border."

"Thank you" I smiled knowing exactly who the young man was.

I opened the box. There was an envelope marked:

Read After You Look.

I handed it to Manny and she held it as I looked through the box. There was one of my anti-violence ribbons. There was a candle that was from the trailer in the ravine. There was a copy of the sheet we had to fill out the first day. A cup from the Dot was sitting in there. There was the New Yorker that he was reading in there. There was a new copy of Britney Spear's first CD. There was Barry Manalow poster that was still in the wrapper. There was a tube of the lip gloss I was wearing that weekend in Toronto. The ticket stub was in there too. That was it there was no more. Manny handed me the envelope. I opened and pulled out the letter inside it.

Emma

If I didn't have the nerve to say it already I love you. I had originally made this box to remember you. It was my mom's idea. I realized as I was killing myself trying to get things to put in there that I would always remember you. I had no one else to remember. You were the only thing that was ever on my mind. You on the other hand I wasn't so sure about. So I decided to give this box to you.

- Jay

Tears were now flowing down my face. The same stewardess handed me a box of tissues.

"You are so lucky" she smiled.

I smiled back. Manny put her hand on my shoulder and smiled.

"It'll be ok long distance relationships are twice as fun" she tried very hard.

"Thanks Manny."

"He was pretty cute" the stewardess said.

"Too bad that's the last time I'll see him."

"Get a webcam."

"She can't" Manny said

"Why?"

"A few years ago I started talking to this guy online and I went to go meet him and he wasn't who he said he was. My parents are a little over protective now."

"That's terrible."

I nodded.

"I better keep going I'm going to get in trouble" she kept walking.

I switched places with Manny and just stared out the window.

-----------------------------------

Jay's POV

I drove back to my house in silence. I walked straight to my room and sat there. My mom came in and sat next to me. I didn't cry I wasn't the crying type no matter how much I had changed. I through a pillow at my wall. It fell to the floor. I didn't say anything to my mom. She was crying. She and my dad had finally decided to call it quits. His girlfriend was pregnant. She knew it was coming. She's known it was coming for a long time now. I couldn't even feel bad for her I was so busy missing Emma. I couldn't even bring myself to care about their divorce.

"Did you go to the airport?"

I nodded.

"Did you make it?"

I nodded.

"Did you give it to someone?"

I nodded.

"Good."

"I saw her."

"You did."

"Yea she ran out right when I got back into the car."

"Was she ok?"

I nodded.

"Good."

"I told her I loved her."

"What did she say?"

"She said she loved me too."

"Did she say good bye?"

I nodded.

"Did you?"

I shook my head.

"Jason..."

"Don't just don't I couldn't I'm not good with good byes."

"You may never see her again."

"You think I don't know that" I stood up "you think it didn't kill me to even hear her say good bye. You think I didn't try so hard to bring myself to tell her good bye. You think it didn't take everything in me to stop myself from breaking down right there. You think I wouldn't rather have died than watch her walk away. Every time I saw her after she told me she was leaving I felt like dying." I was actually angry.

She looked like she was about to say something but she just walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

I started pounding on the pillow still on my bed. I finally got tired around midnight and just laid there looking at the ceiling. She was probably already there. I fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. It was a number I didn't recognize with a 407 area code. I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Jay" I heard Emma's sweet voice.

"Emma hey is this your new number?"

"Yea I got the box."

"Oh good I didn't know if you would were you going over the border."

"Yep."

"Good so how's the new place"

"Oh it's great really nice perfect almost."

"Really?"

"Absolutely it's sunny it's warm I live above ground the only thing it's missing is you."

"I better go it's long distance I'll call you later on my cell I just wanted to give you the house number just in case."

"Ok."

"Bye."

I paused. "I'll call you if you forget" I hung up quickly.


	11. Canadian Brat

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

I decided to go for a walk. We moved to this cute little neighborhood in the suburbs of Orlando. It was one of those neo-traditional communities. We lived very close to the town center. I was walking around looking at all the stores. I stopped in an Italian ices and ice cream place. The place was pretty empty except for a family eating at a table near the bathroom probably so the kids could wash their hands quickly when they got so wet from eating with their hands and two kids around my age on the opposite wall. I walked up to the front and got a soda.

"You new" the girl around my age asked.

I nodded.

"I'm Stacy and this is my brother Jake" she pointed to the boy across from her.

I just took a sip of my soda and nodded.

"Kind of rude" the boy named Jake said.

"Jake she'll hear you."

"I'm sorry I..."

"S-or-y" the girl laughed "where are you from?"

"Canada."

"Like Avril Lavigne" Jake said.

"Yea" I nodded.

"Say something else in Canadian."

"Canadian isn't a language."

"Is that the only word you pronounce weird."

"Weird what do you mean how do you pronounce it?"

"Sorry."

"Do you pronounce or R?"

"No."

"Then why do you pronounce sorry sari."

"Will you two stop that you're giving me a headache" Jake shook his head.

"So what's got you so down" she pulled out a chair.

"Other than the fact that I'm far from home and left all my friends and my boyfriend nothing I'm fine."

"We moved here five years ago" Jake said "it was pretty hard."

"I better go my parents wanted me home early so we can go out to dinner as a family."

"Have fun" Stacy smiled weakly.

"Thanks" I smiled back.

"If you need anything call us we're in the phonebook under Collin."

I walked back to the house and told Manny about the two of them. She found the conversation about the word sorry incredibly interesting. We all went to eat at a Disney resort. It was only 20 minutes away. The place was cute. It was kind of Hawaiian and had activities for the kids. You could see the fireworks and hear what they heard in the parks. The food was good it was all you can eat too. The fireworks lit up the sky. Normally I love watching fireworks today I can barely stand to look at it. They seem too bright and cheerful everything is far too happy in the happiest place on Earth. In my opinion right now this is probably the saddest place on earth at least for me. There are too many children enjoying themselves. There are too many families laughing and smiling. Even my own family seemed a little too happy. I excused my self and went to the washroom to call Jay.

"Hello" he sounded sleepy.

"Hey sorry did I wake you again?"

"No" he didn't seem tired anymore.

"Good I miss you."

"We've gone longer than this without seeing each other."

"Yea but it's different knowing I'm not going to see you soon."

"Did you meet anyone?"

"Yea they were pretty nice but I was kind of rude I wouldn't be surprised if they thought I was some snobby bitchy brat from another country."

"Did you change your citizenship?"

"No there's no point did you know you have to pay to see a doctor even if you're a citizen."

"Yea I did it's kind of different there."

"Very different."

"I miss you."

"I miss you more."

"I don't think that's possible. I could really use a distraction."

"What's going on?"

"My parents are finally getting a divorce his girlfriend is pregnant."

"Oh Jay I'm so sorry"

"It's not a big deal I knew it was coming."

"I wish I could be there for you."

"School's not going to be the same without you."

"I have to go they sent Manny to come look for me I love you."

"I love you too."

"Bye."

He hung up. I stopped expecting a good bye last time I talked to him.

"Everything ok?"

"Yea" I nodded.

"The house isn't even sold it's not even on the market how long do you actually think we're going to stay here" Manny asked.

I shrugged.

"I'm still thinking of this as a long vacation that's what's keeping me from breaking."

"Manny they enrolled in school."

"I'm still hopeful."

That's what I loved about Manny. She was always hopeful no matter what. She was always looking on the bright side.


	12. Dreaming Of You And Dreaming Of Him

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

We fell into a routine. I'd wake up and go to school. I never talked to anyone. I'd come back go up to my room and lock the door. I'd do my homework then just sit there the rest of the night. Manny brought dinner up to me. It was always dark I never turned on a light. I sat in the dark. I'd purposely only call Jay on the house phone just to rack up the phone bill. We'd talk for hours we'd fall asleep on the phone. I'd wake up to the phone beeping. A week passed just like that. It rained a lot in Florida. Everyone said it was normal. I don't think it could possibly be normal for it to rain this much. Now it was Saturday. No school. The clouds looked ominous. The wind picked up and Manny decided it would be fun to take a bike ride. As we were riding the wind kept getting harder. It started raining. The rain was hard.

The streets flooded badly and they were already pretty wet from the past rains. The retention pond was full. The streets were getting wetter by the second. The wind was now pushing us backwards. We got out of our neighborhood and kept riding. Apparently that was a bad idea the storm just got worse. There were cars speeding and slipping on the road. People were looking at us like we're crazy. At the moment I think we are for not turning back but I couldn't stand that house and neither could Manny. The wind caused Manny to fall. She rolled into a ditch. I saw blood coming from her head.

"Manny" I yelled. I turned and started coasting down the slope. A big gust of wind sent me flying down into the ditch with her. I was hurt but not as bad as Manny since I didn't hurt my head. I tried to get her to wake up. I pulled her up to the street and lied her down gently. There were no more cars rushing for shelter. I took off one shoe and a sock and started cleaning Manny up. She woke up and the bleeding stopped.

"I don't think riding our bikes in the storm was a good idea" she laughed.

"You knew there was going to be a storm!"

"I saw a warning on TV I thought it might be fun."

"You're insane! I'm calling my mom" I grabbed my cell phone.

They got there pretty quickly and took us back home.

"What were you two thinking" dad yelled.

"To tell you the truth I thought if you saw how dangerous it was here you'd take us back" Manny admitted when we were sitting on our couch in the living room.

"You really hate it here that much." We both nodded.

"We'd have to sell the house" dad shook his head.

"They can stay up there for awhile while we sell the house."

"Are you sure that's a good idea."

"Archie they're miserable."

"We'll get up there as soon as possible."

"There's a plane leaving tomorrow morning at 12" I told them.

"How do you... never mind" mom said.

I went to bed early wanting the next day to start.

I walked into Degrassi and Sean walked over and put his arm around me and we walked to class together. We were smiling and laughing. Jay came up to us and pulled us apart. He made me shatter into a million pieces then sat there and picked them all up. I pushed him away and he vanished. I was all alone.

I woke up in a cold sweat. The dream was so real. I couldn't figure out what it meant. I jumped out of bed and ran to Manny's room. She was sleeping so I shook he until she woke up.

"I had a dream I need you to analyze it for me."

"I'm not a dream analyzer."

"Try."

"Fine what happened?"

I told her what happened.

"Well it could mean that you feel Jay broke you and Sean up and you still have feelings for Sean so you resent him for that."

"No I don't like Sean anymore that's for sure."

"Ok well maybe it has nothing to do with Sean maybe you just think you're going to push Jay away and you'll be all alone and heartbroken."

"I really love him."

"I know you do."

"Do you mind if I sleep in here tonight?"

She shook her head and we started watching TV to fall asleep.


	13. Going Home

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

Manny and I boarded the plane. We sat in the middle. A little boy with red hair, green eyes, and freckles sat next to me staring up at me. I wondered how that didn't hurt his neck.

"You're pretty" the little boy said.

"Thank you" I smiled.

"What's you're name?"

"Emma."

"That's a pretty name" he grinned. He almost looked like the Cheshire cat when he grinned like that. It was starting to creep me out.

"What's yours" I asked as nicely as I possibly could.

"Brian" his grin never left his face.

"Do you disappear" Manny asked clearly thinking he looked like the same children's book character I thought he looked like.

"No but I wish I could that would be awesome I'd be like the Cheshire cat" he said excitedly.

Manny and I laughed.

"Are you Emma's sister?"

"Sort of" Manny nodded.

"I have a sister she's in college. I used to live with my aunt and my cousins but I'm going home now because mommy is all better. My sister used to live with her friend when mommy was sick but she helped mommy get better. She says daddy serves his country."

"Sounds like Ellie" Manny commented.

"That's my sister's name!"

"No way" Manny and I said in unison.

"Did you know her?"

"Yea she used to go to our school" I said. The plane seemed to shake a little bit.

"We'll be experiencing some slight turbulence please remain seated with your seat belt fastened."

"Oh Emma I knew this would happen I hate flying" Manny worried.

"Are we going to crash" the boy's smile faded.

"Manny you're scaring him now Brian we're not going to crash everything is going to be ok just watch the flight attendants don't worry until they do" as I said this a steward came rushing past us screaming.

"No can we worry" Manny asked.

I gulped and Brian held unto my shirt.

"A storm has made it impossible for us to go any further so we will be landing at the closest airport"

"I heard about this they weren't expecting it to hit until tomorrow" Manny said.

"You knew about this!"

Manny nodded "it was only supposed to be a category one storm."

"A hurricane" I yelled.

"That's bad right" Brian looked scared.

"No everything I going to be ok" I assured him.

We landed smoothly about ten minutes later. The three of us sat together in the airport. We were staying the night. Maybe longer.

"Do you know your mom's number?"

Brian shook his head.

"Do you know Ellie's number" I asked Manny. She shook her head.

"I know someone who might" I took my cell out of my bag and called Jay.

"Hey Em are you home already?"

"No we're stuck in the airport for the night and get this Ellie's little brother was on the plane."

"That's weird."

"Yea do you know her number?"

"No sorry Alex might I can ask her."

"Alex you still talk to Alex"

"Don't read too much into it I'll call you back with the number love you."

"Love you too" I smiled and hung up.

"You have a boyfriend" Brian said. He actually looked mad. I couldn't help but laugh.

Minutes later my cell rang.

"Hey Jay" I smiled.

"Hey I've got the number."

"Did you get anything else?"

"Emma stop you know Alex and I are just friends."

"Yeah I know."

He gave me the number and I let call his sister. He talked to her for awhile then told me she wanted to talk to me and handed me the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Emma thanks so much for taking care of him I'll call my mom and tell her."

"Oh no problem he's really cool."

"You need to look up the definition of cool."

"Ok"

"Thanks for tracking me down he told me you called your boyfriend to get my number are you back with Sean?"

"No actually Manny is."

"Wow Manny's with Sean I can't picture that."

"She's changed a lot over the summer she's been restored to her old self."

"Interesting I still want to know who you're with."

"Why are you so interested in who I'm with?"

"Any friend of Brian's is a friend of mine plus it's incredibly boring here and I desperately need someone to talk to."

"What about Craig."

"We broke up he told me he broke up with Manny. Don't change the subject!"

"Jay."

"J what?"

"Jay Hogart."

"Jay Hogart you mean you're going out with Jay Hogart!"

"Yea"

"Wow that's wow."

Quite a vocabulary you've got there I can really tell you go to college."

"I have to go thanks again for looking out for my brother I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem really. Bye"

"Bye."

Brian fell asleep around 8. Manny and I stayed up talking. We couldn't wait to get back to Toronto. I couldn't wait to see Jay. Why was he still talking to Alex? Last I heard she hated him. What changed? Are they back together? Am I just his on the side girl? Does he really love me or is he just saying that. What if he's been playing me this whole time? I started getting angry. Manny could tell.

"What's wrong?"

"Jay is friends with Alex."

"Emma you need to stop obsessing over that he loves you let it go."

"I guess you're right."


	14. In The Sky Again

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

In the morning we got back on the plane. The rest of the ride was smooth. Manny and Brian fought like three year olds about who was better Superman or WonderWoman. I had my mind on Jay the entire time. Brian kept waving his hand in front of my face and asking for my opinion. I'd usually just say yes which was making Manny very mad but she knew I was distracted. We landed around noon. Mrs. Nash was waiting for Brian. She enveloped him in a big hug and he smiled and introduced us.

"Ellie told me you were taking care of him he's very lucky you girls were there he was nervous about flying alone his aunt couldn't leave her kids and couldn't afford to put 6 kids on a plane."

"6!' Manny yelped.

"Yes I think it's a little much too" Mrs. Nash laughed.

"Well we better get going it was nice meeting you stay cool Brian" I smiled at our inside joke and followed Manny out. We took a cab back to the house then I walked to Jay's.

I knocked on the door and his mother answered and told me to go on up. I cracked his door open. Alex was sitting on his bed next to him crying. He hugged her and kissed her on the cheek she moved her head and he kissed her on the lips. I gasped. My eyes were wide and I was breathing heavily. Jay came out of his room and I started walking down the stairs. It was raining again. I was beginning to think my emotions controlled the weather.

"Emma wait it's not..."

"You can blame her say she kissed you I saw her she did but I what I didn't see was you pushing her away" I sobbed and ran out the door. He followed me and I took off his jacket and threw it at him. He didn't catch it and it landed in the mud rain pouring down on it

"Emma she was upset I was comforting her."

"Because everyone knows how comforting kissing your ex boyfriend can be" I yelled. My salty tears and the crisp rain mixed together. My already messy hair was dripping and I was shivering.

"Emma come inside you're going to get sick" he insisted and walked closer.

"No" I backed up into a slowly moving car "ow."

"Hey watch it lady" the guy in the car screamed and stopped the car.

Jay opened his door and pulled the guy out as his fist connected with the guy's stomach.

"Jay leave him alone" I tried to pull him off of the other guy. He let him go and the guy got back in his car and sped away.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Please just come inside let me explain."

"No this was a bad idea you know I think I should've stayed where I was at least there I had some hope that you actually did care about me."

"Emma I love you. You know that! Alex is a friend nothing more."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Emma don't hold it against Jay he didn't do anything wrong" Alex stood by the door.

"Stay out of this Alex just go back inside" Jay told her.

"Err" I turned around and kept walking.

"Emma don't walk away" I could hear him running after me. I started to run too hoping to lose him. Unfortunately I was in flip flops. Needless to say I slipped and twisted my ankle. He ran faster and knelt next to where I was sitting holding my ankle.

"Come on" he picked me up and walked towards his house. I pounded on his back trying to get him to let me go. Alex opened the door and he walked in and she followed and closed the door behind her.

"What happened" Sam asked.

"She slipped and twisted her ankle."

"How'd she slip" she asked as she looked for an ace bandage. She came back and sat on the couch and started wrapping it around my ankle.

"She was running" Jay answered.

"Emma it's not really bright to run in flip flops and rain."

"She was trying to get away from Jay" Alex said.

"What did you do" she yelled at her son.

"He didn't do anything he was chasing me we were just messing around."

"I have no rules about running in the house it's safer."

"Yea we just wanted to be in the rain."

"I understand that I was a kid once" she said with a skeptical face "Alex I think you should go."

She nodded and left.

"Now tell me what really happened Jason."

"Not now mom."

"Fine Emma let me drive you home" she walked with me out the door.

"Will you tell me what really happened" she asked once we were in the car.

"He kissed her" I started crying again.

"Aw Emma trust me he's not worth your tears none of them are."

"I really thought he loved me I really thought he had changed" I felt weird talking about Jay like this with his mother but I couldn't help it.

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

I smiled weakly "I'm sorry I shouldn't be dumping this all on you I mean you're going through a lot now too."

"Men are dogs all of them!"

"Yea!" I smiled sincerely. "Thanks for driving me home Mrs. Hogart."

"Sam" she corrected me "I'll walk you to the door." She got out and walked with me to the door. I had left my key so I had to ring the bell.

"Hey... What happened" Manny asked worriedly.

"Jay was an ass" Sam laughed.

"Well that much I knew I meant the ankle Jay didn't mention you had gotten hurt."

"J... Jay... called."

"Yeah he was crying it was all very sad and pathetic now tell me what happened."

"I fell it's nothing doesn't even hurt anymore."

"I'm going to go take care Emma" Sam left.

"Thanks" I called after her and went inside.

Manny got me a towel to dry off.

"What did he say?"

"He aid he was really sorry and that he never meant to hurt you wait I wrote it down" she grabbed a sticky from the coffee table and started reading "He and Alex are just friends and nothing more. He hopes you can forgive him but will understand if you don't. In fact if you do he'll question your sanity. He wants you to know he'll always love you no matter what."

"That was really sweet" I cried.

"Yea it was" Manny nodded and smiled.

"I overreacted."

"Eh wrong answer."

"You didn't overreact but that was sweet."

"What would you do?"

"Make him suffer a bit then take him back."

"How?"

"I already called Peter." As if on cue the doorbell rang. Manny jumped up and opened the door.

"Hey haven't seen you guys in awhile what's up."

"Jay did a bad thing" Manny frowned.

"A very bad thing" I pouted and crossed my arms.

"So how can I help?"

"Pretend to be her boyfriend to make him jealous so he knows how she felt."

"I wasn't jealous horrified is more like it I mean think about it the last person she kissed was Paige" I stuck out my tongue.

"Alex?"

Manny nodded.

"Ah so when does this start?"

"Tomorrow morning bright and early."

"Great" he rolled his eyes "now I have to go I'm grounded."

"Why."

"I'm failing science."

"How school like just started.

"Yea well I haven't been going to science class very often."

"No wonder I never see you anymore that's the only class I have with you" I laughed.


	15. You Screwed Up

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

Peter and I walked into school he had his arm wrapped awkwardly around my waist. I looked at him and gave him my best sad eyes and he wrapped his arm tighter and smiled. I kissed his cheek. Jay who was coming down the hall stopped in his tracks causing a few freshmen to trip. I turned towards Peter and kissed him hard on the lips. His eyes grew wide and he just stood there until I poked him and he tried to get into it. I pulled away after awhile and Peter gulped. Jay looked shocked. I gave him a you screwed up smile. And he walked away defeated.

"Emma that wasn't part of the deal" Peter's voice came out squeaky.

"Yea I know I'm sorry but I panicked."

"Try not to panic again if you keep kissing me I might lose my sanity all together!"

"Didn't realize I was such a good kisser" I smiled.

"Come on I'll walk you to class" he shook his head.

Homeroom was boring without Snake. He really made it fun. Most of the time at least. His replacement was this stuffy old lady who reminded me of the principal In Matilda. After homeroom as I was walking out Jay pulled me into an empty classroom.

"What the hell?"

"What's going on with you and Peter?"

"It's none of your business."

"Emma if you're just trying to punish me there are so many other ways but I believe this would be considered cruel and unusual punishment."

"It's not punishment Jay I happen to like Peter now if you'll excuse me I have a class to get to."

"Em…"

"It's Emma" I said icily. I felt bad. I still loved Jay. What if after all this he finds out I was just trying to punish him and doesn't like me anymore. I turned around and looked at him. He looked truly hurt. I couldn't let him get away with it. Manny was right he needed to be taught a lesson.

Peter and I went the rest of the day acting like a couple. After school I went right home. If I wasn't out I didn't have to pretend to like Peter. It was starting to creep me out. I got into my jammies and started my night in. Then the phone rang. As a habit I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Emma it's Alex don't hang up."

"Give me a reason not to."

"Jay."

"Sorry not enough of a reason bye"

"Emma wait he's really sorry and it killed him seeing you with uh Peg."

"Peter."

"Uh yea I guess he really needs you and I shouldn't have kissed him really I'm sorry I was just really upset and needed to be with someone familiar I shouldn't have I mean I knew he was with you now." I started crying. "What's wrong?"

"You shouldn't be sorry Alex I helped him cheat on you."

"Yeah I know but you and I both know that was different. Back to what I was saying if you're at all worried about your boyfriend or ex-boyfriend's liver I suggest you get to the ravine."

"Alex I can't I'm babysitting I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"If he doesn't have a hangover"

"Just take it away."

"You think I didn't try that I did then he just got out his old stash of oxycontin."

"W what"

"Look Emma I've got to make sure he doesn't overdose come or don't come but if you don't come you're just as much of a bitchas I always thought you were" she hung up.

I looked around the room. Then walked outside. I got to the ravine it was pretty dead. I looked around then spotted Jay and Alex sitting at the table. Jay looked like he was sleeping peacefully but I knew he had passed out. I walked over to the bench and sat across from him.

"He's knocked out cold."

"Did he take any?"

"No" she shook her head.

I nodded and sighed in relief.

"This is weird" Alex said.

"It's weird."

"Very weird"

"Fucking weird" Jay mumbled.

Alex and I laughed.

"I forced him to watch it with me once" I looked at him.

"Forced? I highly doubt you were actually forcing him to watch it he went to New York to see it on Broadway a few years ago with his mom he liked it."

I laughed "No wonder he was humming."

We both laughed.

"We should get him home Sam is probably worried."

"Sam she let's you call her Sam."

"Yeah"

"Congratulations his mother likes you wait till you meet his grandfather he's horrible."

"James isn't horrible I talk to him on a daily basis I just talked to him this morning."

"Incredible" she shook her head. I got up and started pulling Jay off the bench toward me. When he got off the edge I fell backward. Thankfully he ell the other way and didn't even touch me.

"He's heavier than he looks" I laughed.

Alex grabbed one arm and I got up and grabbed another arm and pulled him up. Alex fished his keys out of his pocket and threw them to me. I caught them. We put Jay in the back of the car. Alex got in the passenger seat and I walked around to the driver's side and got in.

"Are you sure he won't mind me driving his car?"

"Well no I don't really know if he'll mind but I do know that if I drive it he'll be really mad so I think you should drive."

"Ok" I put the car in drive nervously.

"So what happened yesterday?"

"Oh nothing I was just upset that Paige had a boyfriend."

"That's got to hurt."

"Yea" she nodded.

"So what's going on with you and Peter all I got out of Jay was she lubs peppy pepper."

"Peter is just a friend of mine he's just helping me do exactly what I told Jay I wasn't doing."

"You're punishing him by pretending to go out with peppy pepper."

I nodded.

"That's brilliant" she said sincerely "seriously that's brilliant you really screwed him up."

"That wasn't the plan thought I just wanted to get him jealous."

"Well that worked too."

"I didn't think he'd act like this I just thought he'd get jealous and either give me a reason why I shouldn't get back together with him or give me a reason to forgive him."

"Emma he threw out months of sobriety because he was so upset I think that shows you just how much he cares about you."

"Months"

"Months"

"If I were him I would hate me."

"Yeah I would too."

"I blew it didn't I"

"Not necessarily Jay doesn't know you didn't really like Peter just keep up the Peter thing for awhile and forgive Jay try and build up a friendship again then tell Peter to break up with you and let Jay comfort you."

"That seems a little deceitful."

"Oh and what you did wasn't"

"No but I just want to be truthful with him from now on even if that means losing him."

"Noble."

"Stupid?"

"Very but then again you're in love."

I pulled into Jay's driveway and we helped him out of the car. The house was dark. We set him down in the living room. Then I heard someone crying and I walked into the family room. Sam was sitting on the couch crying.

"Sam?"

"Oh sorry" she wiped her face.

"No it's ok go ahead I was beginning to think you were some kind of superhero you seemed so strong it's good to know you're not."

"No I shouldn't I have to be strong that's what mothers do."

"Being sad doesn't make you a bad mother it just makes you human sitting in the dark with a box of tissues doesn't mean you're not strong it just means you're not stone."

"Thanks Emma" she smiled "I didn't expect to see you here after what happened."

"She helped me get Jay home" Alex walked in.

"What happened?"

"Oh nothing he just got a little tired" I tried to lie.

"Now tell me the truth."

"He got a little drunk" Alex said.

"I thought he was finally over that."

"So did I" Alex nodded.

"Well thanks for bringing him home girls"

"Do you want me to help you bring him upstairs" Alex asked.

"No I think I can handle it."

Alex nodded and left quickly waving good bye.

"Do you mind if I stay here tonight I'd rather not go back to an empty house?"

"Yea I'll kick Sean out of the guest room."

"No don't I can sleep on the couch."

"I really don't mind kicking him out."

"I'm sure you don't but I'd rather not be too much of a bother."

"Emma you're welcome here any time whether you're with Jay or not."

I smiled "I'll help you bring Jay up."

Together we got Jay up the stairs and into his bed.

"You can hang out in here I don't think there's any chance of him waking up the entire liquor cabinet is empty."

"Wow" my eyes widened.

"Well I'm going to bed night Emma."

"Night"

I sat next to jay's bed and looked at him. He looked so peaceful. I knew from the beginning that he and Alex were just friends. I understood that. It's not like they were making out or anything I just couldn't help thinking about how she was sitting there on his bed kissing him. I shouldn't have been so mean to him though.

"I'm really sorry jay" I cried. I shouldn't be crying I didn't purposely hurt him. Well ok yea I did but not this badly. The door creaked and my head spun around.

"Oh hey Emma I didn't know you were here sorry I'll just uh go" he turned around.

"No it's ok I could use some company anyways come on in" he walked and sat beside me on the floor.

"So how are you?"

"Good."

"Where's Manny?"

"She's staying at Liberty's house."

"Oh ok."

"I have to go can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah sure what's up?"

"Tell Sam thanks for letting me stay but I really had to go."

"Ok" he nodded.

I ran out of the room and the house. I couldn't stand being near him without actually being near him. He seemed ten thousand miles away when I was sitting mere inches away. I ran to Degrassi. The doors were open I leaned against the inside wall and slid down until I was sitting with my head resting on my knees. The place was dark. Only the two emergency lights lit the hallway. I started crying. I felt like Alice crying so much she could fill up the room. Although I felt about as small as she was after she drank the shrinking potion. I sat here crying and remembering everything that had happened in the past few weeks. I felt like an entire year had been crammed into a month. After awhile I fell asleep.


	16. Friendish Type People

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

I was awoken by footsteps. Manny stood in front of me. Her head was tilted to the side and she was shaking it. I stood up and she started laughing.   
"You are so lucky I have a change of clothes" she handed me her bag and I ran into the bathroom to change.  
Inside was a loose kind of flowy knee length pink skirt and a black and pink T-shirt. I threw it on in one of the stalls then walked out. Darcy was standing by the sink.  
"I heard you and Jay broke up" she smiled.   
"Yea" I nodded "we did."  
"Great because you know I've kind of been crushing on him since I started going out with Spinner."  
"What?"  
"Now that he's free I have a chance not that I didn't when you were together but it wouldn't be nice to steal him away from someone so completely hopeless."  
"Excuse me."  
"I don't know what he saw in you."  
"That's it" I walked closer to her and slapped her across the face. She grabbed my hair and started pulling it. I pulled hers too. Somehow we ended up in the hallway. Spinner pulled Darcy away and someone else pulled me away too. I struggled to get away as Darcy just stood there fuming. When Spinner took her away I spun around and my eyes met Jay's.  
"You ok?"  
I nodded and attempted to fix my hair.   
"Sean told me you came by last night."  
"Yea I did." Suddenly I couldn't stand this building. I walked to the door and pushed it open. Jay followed me saying something I wasn't really listening to.  
"Where are you going" I spun around and kissed him then continued walking as Degrassi got farther and farther away. I could still hear Jay's footsteps behind me. I started running. His pace picked up too. I never stopped or slowed down I just kept running at that speed. Somehow I got to the ravine. I looked around no one was there. I walked quickly to the table and sat down on it. Jay walked slowly over to me and sat down.  
"What's wrong with you?" He asked "Getting in fights running out of school what's going on."  
"I have never once in my entire life felt like if I didn't get something back I would never be happy until right now and I know that I blew everything by trying to mess with your head even though I knew that you didn't do anything wrong. I knew you and Alex were friends I accepted that. I thought I accepted that I mean obviously I wasn't as accepting as I thought I was. I tried to accept it. We've only been apart for a couple days and I'm already missing you like crazy. When Darcy said she was going to go after you I just automatically went into defense mode. She said I was completely hopeless can you believe her. Well you probably can I mean I bet you two will be extremely happy together. You'll completely forget about that really bitchy girl you dated for a few weeks. This can be a funny story you tell your grandkids or grandparents. Oh no your grandparents I really like your grandparents. What if they hate me now? And Sam what if she thinks I'm some evil witch who's trying to push everyone away. I don't think I can handle you hating me let alone your whole family. Darcy! I bet they'll all just love her little Christian girl gone bad thing. You'll have six kids because they don't believe in birth control. You'll be happy and live on a big farm in the country. You'll have horses. I love horses. You'll have a little pond in your backyard with birds and trees surrounding it and…" I was interrupted by Jay's lips. I pulled back due to the surprise.  
"What was that for?"  
"Shutting you up" he laughed "I didn't even understand half of what you said and frankly I don't care you're better off without me anyways remember that and as for my family they won't hate you."  
"Jay…"  
"Friends?"  
"But …"  
"Friends?"  
"Yea ok friends."

---------------------------------

**Jay's POV**

After school I met Spinner and Sean at the dot. Sean and I sat at the counter as Spinner talked to Darcy. They made up and her supposed crush on me disappeared. Sean's cell rang and he quickly answered it. I was left sitting there with no one to talk to. Then Ellie walked in.  
"Hey Jay" she sat next to me.  
"Hey shouldn't you be in college?"  
"I transferred to a school close by I guess with all the years I spent without my family I'd really like to be close to them right now."  
"Ha you'll see after a day with all of them you'll be running for the door."  
She laughed.  
"So I heard about you and Emma from Alex."  
"Oh yeah"  
"I also heard she wanted to get back together and she got into a fight with Darcy and you're still not together."  
"How did Alex find all that stuff out?"  
"She talked to Emma they've kind of become friend-ish type people."  
"How is it possible that in the few short weeks we were together she managed to get in with everyone I know?"  
Ellie shrugged.  
"Did you know she pretended to go out with some guy just to get back at me for doing nothing she even said she knew I did nothing?"  
"Then do the same thing to her."  
"Too bad I have no other friends at that school."  
"Who says it has to be a school friend here she comes now."  
I looked back quickly then slipped my arm around Ellie's waist. I saw Emma stop and turn around. I stood up and ran after her.   
"Emma I…"  
"Friends remember Jay we're just friends that means no explanations needed."  
"Emma."  
"You know what on second thought I can't do friends I'm sorry Jay but I can't be your friend it is physically impossible for me to be your friend because every time I see you with another girl it kills me" she cried and walked away.

-----------------------------------

**Emma's POV**

I sat on the couch next to Manny crying. I was sure I was dehydrated from the loss of fluids. Mom, Snake, and Jack are coming home tomorrow and I have to put on my happy face. We came back because we were miserable. I'm still miserable. I think it's impossible for me to be happy. I'm destined to be old and alone. Jay was wrong when he said he didn't deserve me. I don't' deserve him. The phone rang and Manny answered it.  
"Emma it's Alex for you."  
I shook my head.  
"She's not up to talking yet. Try again later."  
Try again later. Those three words rang in my head. Try again later. What was I a magic 8 ball? I grabbed the remote and turned on Lifetime Movie Network.  
"Emma turn it off" Manny demanded.  
I didn't. She took the remote and turned it off. I started crying again. To stop myself from crying I started studying. I got all my books and read them cover to cover. It took me all night. Manny stayed up with me. Or at least attempted to she fell asleep around one. She woke up at 8 to find me till reading. I had one more page in the history book to go. I finished and closed the book.  
"Did you sleep at all?"  
I shook my head and went into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. I drank cup after cup. Then Manny made her own pot giving me a weird look  
I went to school without her and walked the whole way. I was early so I just sat on the steps in front. Jay's car was the first to pull into the parking lot. He got out. He was with Spinner and Darcy they were all laughing and seemed to be having a good time. They stood by the car. Manny walked up shortly after and sat next to me. My eyes never left that orange car. He looked up at one point and we made eye contact for less than a second.  
"Emma let it go you're too good for him."  
"No I'm not" I shook my head.  
The day crawled at a super slow speed. I skipped the only class I had with Jay. As the bell ending lunch rang I walked casually out of the building and sat on the bleachers that were almost never used. After a few minutes Jay came out with a cigarette in his hand. He sat far away from me.  
"Why are you skipping" he asked.  
"I was trying to avoid you that didn't work."  
"I know how you feel."  
"Do you Jay because this morning you looked pretty happy I doubt you spent all night soaking your textbooks with your own tears."  
"This is what you wanted wasn't it a reason not to get back together well here's a reason for you I don't want to" he yelled.  
"Well good you finally ended my dream I was beginning to think I would never wake up but I knew it was impossible for anyone to be as happy as I was even when I was far away and miserable the thought of you kept me from being too sad."  
"Don't pin this all on me!"  
"Oh don't worry I'm into I know this was all my fault I deserve all the blame you were perfect and I wasn't it's all my fault we can't be together stupid me I ruin everything hell you can even blame me for everything that happened at the ravine that was all my fault too I should've known that every time we cross paths something gets hurt and it seems to be me a lot of the time although I must admit that sometimes I shared the hurt. I blame myself for everything that ever went wrong between us. It was all me! Me! Me!"  
"You know I think it would be best if we just avoided each other and didn't speak."  
"I fully agree. I can transfer out of whatever it is they call that class now."  
"Yeah good idea."


	17. You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

In seven days I'm graduating Valedictorian. Liberty was furious when she found out I had beaten her. Manny threw me a small surprise party. JT, Toby, Mom, Snake, Alex, and obviously Manny were there. Alex and I had become friends over the year. She was still friends with him. I knew that. He knew she was friends with me. We didn't care as long as we didn't have to see each other we could share friends. Tomorrow night was prom night. I was going alone. Manny bought me a ticket then through a fit about spending the money for no reason. So I'm going even though I know mom gave her the money and told her to throw a fit just so I'd go. Now I'm lying awake in my bed staring at the ceiling wishing he was here.

My phone rang and quickly grabbed it with a shred of hope that it was actually him.

"Hello?"

"Hey you excited about prom" James's voice rang through my ears.

"Uh yea standing by the wall staring at all my friends having fun sounds thrilling."

"No date."

"No date even Toby has a date."

"Well I'm sure one of your friends could squeeze you in for a dance or two."

"Yea I guess."

"Did you get the package I sent you yet?"

"Yes I got it and I haven't opened it."

"Good so I thought I'd give you a heads up that you're stuck with my lovely grandson for another four years."

"Joy."

"Have you decided what your major is going to be?"

"James most kids don't even decide until their 3rd year."

"Yes well you're not most kids now are you?"

"I'd like to be."

"Too bad you're not."

"Well no I haven't decided yet give me some time."

"Fine I'll ask you again in a week."

"Gee thanks for the time."

"Anytime kid."

"Clever."

"I thought so."

"How's Emily doing?"

"Fantastic."

"That was sarcastic what's going on?"

"She left."

"She left!" I was shocked. I actually felt like my own grandparents were splitting up.

"Yep she just left and went to see her sister just because she has Alzheimer's."

"Don't scare me like that" I yelled.

"You know I have very old ears it's best if you don't yell in them they might get confused and think they don't work."

"Right because everyone knows that ears have fully functional separate slightly illogical brains."

"Yes of course."

"May I ask why you decided to call at almost midnight?"

"Well late night TV sucks and I knew you'd be awake because I knew you haven't slept more than two hours since the break up."

"You know everyone thinks it's weird that I still talk to you is it?"

"No it's a little weird that you still talk to his mother and go over and bake with her when he's not there."

"My mom comes too."

"Yea now that's weird."

"You're just a mean grumpy old man that needs to be sleeping."

"Are you sending me to bed?"

"Why yes I think I am."

"Fine I'll let you get your beauty rest good night cocoa puff."

"Night raisin bran"

I hung up and went back to staring at the ceiling. At some point I fell asleep. I woke up to the phone ringing.

"Hello?"

"Emma where are you we're supposed to be shopping I left a note on the nightstand I was going to let you sleep."

"Then why did you wake me up?"

"You're just now waking up Emma it's almost two o'clock."

"What!" I shot up "I'll be right there."

"Hurry Emma"

I hung up quickly and threw on some clothes then ran to the door and out the door. I got to the mall about twenty minutes later. I looked around for Manny. I couldn't find her. I went into a department store and saw Ellie with him. I gulped and continued walking right past him.

"Oh Emma hey" Ellie stopped me.

"Hey Ellie" I smiled as sweetly as I could.

"Are you going to the prom?"

"Yea" I nodded.

"Uh huh well I better go bye" I walked away quickly and didn't look back. I ran into Manny and she dropped all the dresses in her hand.

"What's wrong you look like you've just seen a ghost?"

"No ghost Ellie and him."

"Come on Em let's find you a dress then go get mani pedis."

"Ok" I nodded and followed her.

She picked out this pinstripe dress with a square neckline, empire waist with tie across back, and a barcode logo tag on side. She then picked up this kind of Victorian looking shirt to go under it. She shoved it at me and pointed out the dressing rooms even though I knew where they were. I went and tried it on. Surprisingly it looked pretty good on me. Manny knocked on the door to the dressing room telling me to come out so she can see. I did as I was told for fear she might break down the door.

"Oh Emma you have to get it."

"Don't you think it's a little informal for prom?"

"No it's fine now get and let's go before the nails place closes."

"Manny it closes in two hours."

"Yes I know but you are taking a long time and we have to leave soon so we can get ready now go."

"Yes ma'am" I saluted and went into the dressing room to change. I threw Manny the clothes and my card and she went to go pay as I finished putting back on my clothes. When I got out she was standing in front of the door with two bags in her hand. She handed me one then put her hand on my back and led me out and to the nails place right next to the store. We apparently had appointments (that explains the rushing) so they took us right away.

Manny insisted I get hot pink nails to add color to my prom outfit. I glanced in the bag and that's when I noticed she had gotten me shoes.

"Manny!"

"Don't worry they're just black ballet slipper flats."

"Ok" I nodded.

When we were done we called home for a ride. They came quickly and we went home to get ready for prom.

I walked in with all of my friends who were coupled off. They went to dance and I was left standing next to the punch. He walked in. He was surprisingly alone. He stood by the door. I looked at him briefly then looked back to the dance floor when he looked at me. When I looked away from the dance floor he was next to me.

"Congratulations on making valedictorian."

"Thank you" I smiled.

"I heard you're going to University of Toronto."

"Yeah and so are you."

"Yeah"

"James?"

"Yeah"

"So who are you here with?"

"Just me"

"Then why don't you dance with me just as two people who've known each other a long time and are probably going to see each other at some point in the near future."

"Ok" I nodded and let him lead me on to the dance floor. As soon as we got there the fast song that was playing ended and a slow song started.

"Uh…"

"You want to wait?"

"Let's just get it over with" I smiled. He slid his arms around my waist and I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck.

"I've missed you" neither one of us were quite sure who said. We both had heard our voice and we were both thinking it.

"I don't think I can stand running into you for four more years it hurts every time I see you with someone else."

"We're just friends."

"Who" I asked innocently

"You know exactly who."

"It doesn't even matter they still get to spend time with you when I don't I was even jealous of Sean for awhile because he was living in the room next to yours."

"Well I'm sure my mother would rather you had been in there too."

"Jay" I said warningly. Wow that was the first time I had said, heard, or thought his name in months. I saw Manny kiss Sean and I wanted that again. Not Sean but him. Jay. Wow his name sounded so good.

"Emma we didn't work we don't work we won't work even the thought of us is borderline criminal insanity."

"You know I wouldn't have been valedictorian if I was still with you."

"All the more reason why we shouldn't be together."

"No because I was miserable. I'd stay home every night. I'd play with Jack until he went to bed then I'd study all night long. I haven't slept more than two hours since we broke up. Now you may have been perfectly fine but I wasn't and the look on your face tells me you weren't either. We may not work. We may be like a drug for each other eating away at both of us until there's nothing left but I don't care I'm a addicted and the withdraw is a lot worse then the slow deterioration of ourselves that we cause."

"We'll destroy each other."

"We'll be destructive together."

"It'll blow up in our faces."

"We'll get plastic surgery together" I laughed. I actually laughed I hadn't laughed in so long.

"You really want to try this."

I nodded and buried my head in his neck. He put his hand on the side of my face and guided it back to face his then he kissed me. I heard a couple cheers far away but they weren't nearly as loud as the fireworks going off in my head. My knees were suddenly so weak Jay was actually holding me up.

"Parents, teachers, and fellow students congratulations you made it through. Some of us have been here since we were young. 7th grade many of us started school here. We've all had interesting experiences and hardships but we still made it through and we're still standing here today. Aristotle once said that "Education is the best provision for the journey to old age." Well we've all gotten our education and now we are prepared to continue on. Congratulations to the class of 2007 we made it to the end" I smiled and walked off stage.

"Thank you Ms. Nelson" Ms. H said "we'll now begin calling everyone up."

She called each one of the people in the graduating class to walk across the stage and get their diploma. When she was done we were all standing on risers and we threw our hats in the air. I hugged Jay and Manny started making out with Sean right there in front of everyone. We looked at them and laughed. We ran off the stage together. JT, Toby, Liberty, (who just got over her not getting valedictorian when she learned I only beat her by a point and a half) Sean, Jay, Manny, and I went back to Jay's house for a party. Even my parents came. We didn't go to any other of the big graduation parties.

As our friends were dancing and laughing and talking and just being crazy we went up to his room to talk for a little while. As I was going up Manny raised her eyebrow suggestively but much to her disappointment I shook my head. We went into his room. I sat on his unmade bed and he sat next to me.

"Hi."

"Hi."

He kissed me once on the cheek. Then I kissed him. Next thing I know we're laying down and my leg is around his waist. I disentangled myself from him and sat up.

"What happened to talking" I asked breathlessly.

"Talking bad kissing good" he breathed heavily and erratically.

"Jay you dragged me up here because you wanted to talk now you better start talking."

"I just wanted to give you this" He leaned back and grabbed something from the top drawer of his nightstand. It was a long black velvet box.

"Jay you…"

"Open it."

I nodded and opened it. Inside was a gold chain and a graduation hat with a heart with little diamonds in it around it charm.

"Jay it's beautiful" I was almost in tears. He took it out of the box and put it on me.

"Just like you."

I threw my arms around him as the hot tears began to fall.

"Hey what's wrong" he pushed me back gently and looked at me.

"Nothing it's perfect everything is perfect but I didn't get you anything."

He laughed whole-heartedly. "Don't worry about it you already gave be the best gift of all."

"What's that?"

"You."

**The End!**


End file.
